Not My Bobbi Brown 10/28/08

09 Apr

 Hi All — Hope you are enjoying Fall and all its color. Landon and I have been busy with some travel and some fun. We went to Hilton Head to visit Grandpa and Grandma. I worked and Landon got spoiled. She went to the park, made cookies and just basically got a lot of attention. I am sure you can imagine she ate that up. Perhaps Landon’s favorite thing at Grandpa’s was his PEZ dispenser. Why does a 69 year old man have a PEZ dispenser….. well I guess because he can. Landon found his toy on the high shelf and would stand firmly planted until we dispensed of a treat — actually you push a button and Wylie Coyote spins around with your PEZ . Go figure.

As there is a lot of work to do to get ready for travel w/ Landon, I was pretty tired the next morning as we go to the airport. That said, I did have on matching clothes and makeup — points for me. I stopped in the airport bathroom to primp and thought — you look like crap Kelly, more eyeliner definitely needed. As I am applying it and still looking like ka ka poopy, I notice why, I am using a mauve lip liner not my espresso eye liner (not a good look for a girl with freckles). Good grief!

 My friend Erin and I took our two little ones to the Harvest Farm Pumpkin Patch (petting zoo, corn maze, pumpkin patch, etc.) the first weekend in October. It was Oct 6 and freezing. Not really snowing you see — but cold as hell and sleeting a bit. It wasn’t like this at first let me clarify. It was nice in Denver. As you drive 60 miles west — the weather changes. Poor planning – well yea duh! I didn’t have gloves, not sure Erin had a hat — the girls were bundled up like packages. Landon had on her Hanna Andersson jacket. Landon was doing fine with the petting zoo until the donkey started to eat her jacket. She started to cry because she was scared. I started to cry because I paid 45.00 for it. I said “take her jeans; they are from Target”. We ended up leaving early and by early I mean about 15 minutes in to the trip. We set the girls up in the back of the SUV in the empty field (tailgating for losers sort of thing) and fed them. Both were shaking so much they could hardly chew. Landon looked at me like “I am sooooooooooooo calling Grandpa when we get home”. You live and learn I guess.  What did the other families think of the Harvest Farm you ask? Well I can’t really answer that as there wasn’t a civilian to be seen in a 30 mile radius. The only ones there were the local farmhands who looked like Ted Kacynski’s brothers, except not as good looking.

 Prior to our departure to Harvest Farm (and this should have been a sign), I notice that Landon has gotten sick (throw up sick– want you to really feel as if you were there with us). As I get closer to her, I notice that that her lips have a sort of a pasty look. Then I notice her vomit is sort of taupe —- actually no…. it is not taupe…….it is SAND BEIGE…………….NO……….. NOT MY BOBBI BROWN. “Landon that was 48.00”.Grrr! Well she is taller now and can reach the counter. In my haste to turn Landon in to a human popsicle at Harvest Farm, I did not see the little sprite snag my foundation — which was open and ready for application so as not to frighten anyone. She had herself quite the little time, pouring it on the chair and carpet and then spreading in a thin and translucent layer for light coverage. I believe that she also drank some of it (hence the pasty lips) — glad Bobbi uses some natural ingredients.

Last week we made a quick stop at the grocery store on the way home from school. I decided that the grapefruits looked good so put several in a buggy beside by Landon. I move over to pick up an onion and feel a whoosh breeze. Hmmmmmm –must get the onion. Then I pick up the onions and notice a flying yellow object in my peripheral vision. Hmmmm – no it can’t be. ITS A FLYING GRAPEFRUIT!!! How can that be? A special hybrid from the depths of Florida, laced with Viagra??? No its just Landon. I look over to see her hurling the grapefruits one by one across the produce department….laughing her head off. Then I start laughing but try not to as that is in the mommy manual as the way to encourage bad behavior. I am dodging the flying citrus to try to collect them all but can’t stop laughing. She was so quick — I couldn’t keep up. Perhaps she will play baseball or throw a javelin. So Halloween is coming and we are excited … and by we I mean Landon. She is going as a pumpkin. I am certain there are no moms excited about holiday which intentionally gives SUGAR to small children right before bedtime. Happy Halloween all!!

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Posted by on April 9, 2010 in Uncategorized


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