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Booty Call?

25 Apr

 Hi.

 Headed to beautiful Moldova on May 1 (Happy Birthday to me).  I am bringing home Tennyson.  YAHOOO!  So yes, I am excited and tired, nervous, happy, stressed, tense, blah blah blah.

 People keep asking me what Landon thinks of a new sister.  “Is she acting out at all?  Does she say she doesn’t need a sister, etc.”  Of course I have answered No emphatically all along. Not my daughter.    And I will say that she has a picture of Tennyson which she sleeps with. She says “Mommy I LUUUUUV Tenson…you go get her”.  Very very cute.  Then she says “I put blanket on her head”.  The last one concerns me a bit. 

 So today things are changing a bit.    Time for nap – my VERY favorite time of the day. Landon wants to stretch out on my bed instead of hers.  You know whatever will get her to go to sleep – FINE!  I check on her about 20 minutes later anxiously awaiting the sweet face of my cherub only to find her evil twin covered in white cream.  Solid white face – flashback to Noxema. Oh but wait, she has also painted my silk bedspread (shut up … I know… when I bought a silk bedspread I did not have kids..) and then of course on my matching chenille pillows.  OMG!  Seriously P-O’d.  “LANDON!  What the h……. what were you thinking?  What?  WHAT?  WHAT?”  I cannot speak…. I am sooooo mad…   Perhaps there is a reasonable explanation.  Perhaps she thought a good coat of Sensual Sandalwood (plushpotions.com – you must try it!) would even out the fabric wrinkles. 

 So …. As I am doing my chores to recover from the lotion incident (heretofore as it will be known)… Landon watches a movie – really a Dora mini moves (when Landon says ARRIBA ARRIBA w/ Dora it will about make me pee in my pants).  I walk in to check on the little spite (cherub is now a sprite please note).  I find her with her sippy mug – she has moved the straw and is slinging water all over the TV and couch.  Sprinting in to action, I end up on my BUTT as I have encountered the largest portion of her water sling fest with my big damn feet. 

The day went like this until the little demon (personality evolving) ended up climbing on the bathtub ledge to get my razor to shave her legs after, of course, using my bobbi brown facial cleaner to wash Ariel and all the other water friends. 

SO YES…. Landon is showing out a bit.   I can only imagine what it will be like when Tennyson is home.

 I am preparing for my trip to Moldova and ended up w/ a business trip to Atlanta last week.  Yes it was bad timing but… I love my job and it was a good meeting.

Now I was a presenter for a portion of this session. Not the main guy… but up in front a good group of people for a couple of days.  Just prior to my first session, I scooted out to a quick lunch at Cheesecake Factory with some work girlfriends.  As we walk in (through the Sears entrance because all execs go in through Sears), my friends says   “Kelly you sat in something”.   Dust off my butt…. “nooooo gurl…. I am serious… you sat on something…”  More insistently I brush off my bum – must be dust.  “Kelly it’s a lot – seriously a lot”.  I search through my purse for a mirror. I am going to put the mirror to my butt so I can look and see how bad this stain is.  We are still walking during all of this in the parking lot.   My friend then says “let me take a picture w/ my phone”  WHAT???  Ah… no.  “No let me take a picture and then you can see it”  And yes… we are still walking in from the parking lot..  “No way… no way… you are not taking a picture of my butt”.   

She gets really close getting her camera phone ready and says “OH MY GOD – it’s a hole….  You have like 10 little holes in your pants…. That’s your butt…..thats your butt…”  OK you can imagine… my supportive friends all laughed their non-exposed asses off.   I didn’t believe her… tried to wrench my back so I could see (some new yoga pose I think I just created).    Finally I believe her, when I find I can stick my index finger all the way through my pants.  OMG OMG – mad dash through Macys, panting….. looking for a sales clerk, perspiring, can’t help but notice the new INC spring launch as I whiz by.  I end up with a calvin klein poorly made pair of brown pants on sale for 29.98.  Whew!

 Rounding a week of fun, Friday night I get a call at 4:20 a.m.   Yeehaw!  A booty call for me…..  “hel…hell…helloo”  “who dis?  Who phone?”  “Huh?”  “Who dis?  I need Ketty”  Its Moldova calling. 

“Albina…. Is that you?”  “jes…jes… Ketty is Albina.  I need copy you passport… I need now…  You send?”   Say what?  We go back and forth because speaking Russian to tired southern lady woken from a dead sleep – well the results could be pretty bad.  

“ketty you send now.  I have translator call”

Click.  BRRRINNNNG!  BRRRRINGGG!

“Ketty dis Angela… I need passport copy for baby adoption… need now”

You know I got that part.

BRRRINNG!  BRIING!  Oh looky there… another call from moldova coming in on the other line.  Click Over…. Albina… “Kelly translator – she call?  You send…important… now… sorry Ketty”
Click – back to Angela… “send now… Ketty”.

So I get out of bed… get my passport out of the safe… scan it in…. email it over.  Okay… as I walk upstairs, I remember that they already have this… I sent it months ago.  God only knows where it is….. It is after all… Moldova again.

 So there is our latest just before we launch in to next trip – Operation Bring Home Tennyson.

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Posted by on April 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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