I am working. The phone rings… I see it – DAYCARE. Jaws theme…. NOOOOOO! I am not going to answer it — -maybe she will get spontaneously better….. Ring # 2, #3 – damnit. It is never good when Daycare calls in the middle of the day.
“Hello? Hi its Ann from school – Landon is running a fever; she needs to go home. (Translated – get this infected kid outta here before the entire school gets it) AKKKKK!
When I arrive she is clearly miserable and I feel terrible. How did I miss it? Oh yea, I took her to the doc in the box Saturday and he told me she just had pink eye. Not something that will cause the 101 degree fever she has now.
Off to her real doctor. STREP– -crap! I mean we tested for this Sat. Of course this is the same man to whom I had to point out her encrusted eyes. To which he replied “oh the eyes are pink… see here ma’am– we call that conjunctivitis” No shit Sherlock – just give me the drugs.
We were in the doctor’s office forever. The girls were bribed with lollipops. I was holding Tennyson to keep her from knocking over an oxygen tank and a container of tongue depressors while she ate hers. She rubbed that blasted thing on me every time she took a lick. Lick… rub Mommy’s back….lick…. tap Mommy’s back, lick, tap, lick, tap, lick, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.. The nurse said – “what kind of pattern is that on your jacket – I like it” Ummm sticky lollipop?
So then they want a urine sample — no not me – Landon. The doctor says “so do you think you can get her to pee in a cup?” Um…. Are you joking? Yes lets give that a shot and then I’ll take on world peace. So I stoop over the hobbit toilet while Landon tries like a champ to produce in a Dixie cup – experiencing a little performance anxiety. Result – 1/16 of an ounce of catch, one completely saturated Mommy hand. Doctor says “wow that is great” as I scrub down w/ hand sanitizer. I would REALLY like to smack her right about now. Good Lord – a nice pair of Jimmy Choo’s would make this all a whole lot better.