To complete our weekend of fun and bad behavior, we invited some nice friends over for some kiddy pool activities. Kids are getting acclimated etc – all good.
Landon fills a bucket with water and smiles that sweet smile which makes a pony seem very logical in our bungalow home. She approaches her friend, actually her Godsister (as I am this child’s Godmother). I watch in horror as she raises a large pink bucket and dumps it on her friend’s head. Her friend is not yet in her bathing suit and really not at all amused. Wh…wha….what? I have no words. This is not a frat party – what are you doing?
And can you guess what she said?
“Mommy – twas an acc’dent”
So some demonic spirit raised your arm over Maya’s head only to force a direct pour center of scalp??
Have I got that right? (actually could that be possible – maybe she is possessed and really has no control over all the acc’dents????)
And then on to Sunday — HUGE loss.
My cell … well it expired.
Tragic it was. So we are in the backyard with the blow up pool (which I refer to it PITA – pain in the ass).
It takes forever to fill and every time I do I forget to close the drain which means I flood the backyard and don’t realize it until I step outside in to a puddle.
THEN I have to fill it up again, wasting our most precious resource and the water has no time to heat.
THI S OF COURSE also means the water is basically an ice cube so the girls shiver for the entire 6 minutes they are in it.
Flippin fun as hell… come join us.
So we are done and I need to drain the pool. I brace my lower legs on the side of the pool – maybe 10 inches high.
where is that drain?
The pool is so full of dirt I cannot see it. My friend points it out because she is younger and has better eyesight. DAMN HER on both counts. Seriously now that I think of it, she is smarter than me and has a better body – really there is not much I like about her…. rethinking this one..
Okay back on track – stay focused for the “how”
So bracing myself on the pool, leaning in – this sucker is nearly impossible to open. You have to sort of lift the pool to get the bottom off the ground so the drain will open – but it is full of water – so you can’t lift the stupid thing – what does it weigh – like 100 pounds when full of water?
Slipping a bit but I got it….
Okay leaning in
Backpack purse slipping a little on my back (removing it would have been good – but this will just take a minute….)
Wow got it……….akkk!!!
Backpack slipping contents shifting. Uh Oh!
The only thing
the only thing
the only damn thing to fall out of my backpack is the
I mean there are like 8 lip glosses in there, a brush, many credit cards, numerous pens – but my blackberry hits the pool with a sizeable splash.
This is not good.
And the finale – my babysitter is texting me telling me she is hurling and cannot watch the girls – but I cannot see it because my phone is now submerged.
WAAAAA WAAAAAA WAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAA
This part is going to go on for a while — come on back… I’ll be right here. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA