It’ll be okay

12 Aug

What drama around here tonight. 

Tennyson, I fear, is getting something – some little bug.  Can’t quite get her totally to sleep. 

And Landon is mimicking Tenny’s symptoms and coming up with a few of her own to boot (extending the night in to what seems like a month).

 They are both finally in bed but there are tears – those big crocodile ones.       This time they are mine.  

I am wiped out… that wiped out where you may just throw up.  

 And I yelled at Landon and was impatient with Tennyson because of the ups and down all night.

 I feel like shit. 

 I am shit. 

The big tears hit the chair

and are gone almost immediately

blending right in to the fabric as if it needed the moisture.


 I am just rocking now – no babies in my lap, just me.  

I am rocking Mommy. 

 I need it. 


There is peacefulness to their breathing… the breathing of the two or is it one…. I can’t really tell now.

 The nightlight is creating a shadow of my body sort of cradled in the rocking chair.  

 My hair looks a fright in the shadow – different shapes in all directions.  

I amuse myself by moving in different directions.    How will my shadow dance?

Oh but it is quiet – quiet but for a little while.

 Time to get moving I guess. 

 Tomorrow is another day and we just keep going. 

It’ll be okay….

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Posted by on August 12, 2010 in Uncategorized


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