What drama around here tonight.
Tennyson, I fear, is getting something – some little bug. Can’t quite get her totally to sleep.
And Landon is mimicking Tenny’s symptoms and coming up with a few of her own to boot (extending the night in to what seems like a month).
They are both finally in bed but there are tears – those big crocodile ones. This time they are mine.
I am wiped out… that wiped out where you may just throw up.
And I yelled at Landon and was impatient with Tennyson because of the ups and down all night.
I feel like shit.
I am shit.
The big tears hit the chair
and are gone almost immediately
blending right in to the fabric as if it needed the moisture.
I am just rocking now – no babies in my lap, just me.
I am rocking Mommy.
I need it.
There is peacefulness to their breathing… the breathing of the two or is it one…. I can’t really tell now.
The nightlight is creating a shadow of my body sort of cradled in the rocking chair.
My hair looks a fright in the shadow – different shapes in all directions.
I amuse myself by moving in different directions. How will my shadow dance?
Oh but it is quiet – quiet but for a little while.
Time to get moving I guess.
Tomorrow is another day and we just keep going.
It’ll be okay….