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Blown Away

08 Sep

I am sure we have all, or at least most of us, taken a cab at some point in our lives.

Sometimes they smell…

Sometimes they are dirty…

Sometimes they have odd religious icons displayed…

and sometimes they just open the window for NO good reason.

Seriously no one wants to smell everyones’ car fumes or breathe in pollution. 

….or have their hair blown all over the damn place.

My cab driver lets the window down.

His is all the way down. 

The front passenger window is down about half way.

Not bad at first, as we are only going 45 mph…

in a residential area.

 Nice breeze – kinda feels good.

And I am feeling particularly good today because I am…

well…

dressed.

 You know I don’t get away from the kids all that much so…

I curled my hair…

No ponytail for once and am sporting a somewhat stylish outfit…

Even wearing a pashmina for warmth and added style…

Except I got it at Target for 12.99 so it’s really a Targina…

Isaac Mizrahi for Target … can’t beat it.

I am wearing a new lipgloss…

Orgasm

No I am serious…

that is the name…

Nars best seller.

A peachy hue…

with a hint of glitter…

and super tacky for holding power.

Anyway…

look good…

feel good…

It’s a good day.

I see the interstate ahead. 

Okay he is a licensed professional in the car driving business so…

I know he will let the window up…

you know…

soon…

it is courtesy…

I am the patron.

And…he enters the interstate………….

VARRRRROOOOOM!

Dude this is not NASCAR…

He is hauling ASS…

Are the police after us?

The increase in speed has caused a tornado like effect…

papers are flying.

My hair is like a stringy mop….

no direction

no handle

The wind is blowing so hard I am plastered against the back seat with no real need for a seatbelt.

Why not ask the driver to close the window…

Stellar idea…

Had I been able to actually speak….

let me assure you I would have executed on that.

You see my hair is basically wrapped around my face like a kite tail…

Stuck to my orgasm lip gloss.

Then my billowy wrap (the freakin’ pashmina) is caught in the wind tunnel and flies right in to my mouth…

completely adhered, as if with duct tape.

 I am trying to make sounds…

So the cabbie will close the window…

Not working.

Between my hair and wrap muffling my sounds…

My utterances are unintelligible….

I sound like Mushmouth on Fat Albert…

“Close-ba the-ba win-ba-dow-ba please-ba”

Nothing…

He does not understand Fat Albert speak. 

There is so much wind….

Auntie Em’….

Save me.

We arrive…

Finally…

By the grace of God.

Disheveled…

In a state of panic …

I stumble out of the car…

And this maniac cab driver wants a TIP…

a TIP?

Of all the Nerve.

Okay…

..how-ba bout-ba close-ba-bing the-ba damn-ba win-ba-dow-ba

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1 Comment

Posted by on September 8, 2010 in Cabs, Travel

 

One response to “Blown Away

  1. Marge Roate

    September 8, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    You go girl….give ‘dem rude cabbies hell!

     

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