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Sexy Mama?

15 Sep

Getting ready is basically a circus act around here—it’s just…

I am the only one in the audience.

I am always last…

ALWAYS…

last to be dressed. 

I consider it quite an accomplishment if I get any sort of hairstyle or accessory…

such as …

deodorant.

So this gave me time to ponder my mama mojoe.  It has become very obvious that the definition of “sexy” has changed drastically post children.

Before – Single Sexy After – Sexy Mama?
Nordstrom’s Stuart Weitzman shoes Flip Flops
Sparkly evening bag Backpack
Contour cheekbones with bronzer and cheek shimmer for Princess Grace’like effect Slap lipstick on cheeks, pray the lines blend in to freckles
Victoria’s Secret Lace bra Bra-llelujah – to hide back fat
Tanning center for all over natural glow Fake tan sprayed only on exposed areas
Imported French soaps Irish Spring
Layered expensive perfume with coordinating lotion and matching powder to ensure lasting and alluring aroma Lady Stetson
15 minute cat nap for replenished appearance Slap face to cause instant wakeup
Pedicure with paraffin treatment Closed shoes – preferable moccasins
Curl and style hair Ponytail
Dressed to the 9’s Took a bath
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1 Comment

Posted by on September 15, 2010 in Parenthood

 

One response to “Sexy Mama?

  1. Marge Roate

    September 16, 2010 at 10:37 am

    Kelly….you rock!

     

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