RSS

Privacy Please

04 Oct

If you have children, you know this to be true.  You will NEVER pee alone again.  NEVER!

Something will happen or someone will need something — just give it up.

Give up the dream of pee’ing by yourself.

Just one minute — really only one.

I am not so selfish.

And I have an overactive bladder.

All you want is a moment of peace…

really so very little for which to ask…

don’t you think?

Please don’t fight…

just for one moment…

don’t pull you sister’s hair…

don’t drop your sippy mug…

don’t trip over your own colors

don’t lose Fancy Nancy’s pink shoe

And please for the love of all that is holy…

do NOT let that damn cat piano toy (sanctioned by Parents Magazine) spontaneously play one more round of Itsy Bitsy Spider.

I CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE OF THAT DAMN SPIDER.

I wish the rain would just wash her down the drain… I am sorry… I just do.

I want to pee…

in quiet…

by myself…

uninterrupted.

And I want to do it on a throne.

As the queen of this establishment…

I think that is a very reasonable request.

On my throne…

as God intended it.

My Sanctuary

The bathroom — my Sanctuary….

breathing…

first time today I think.

Thank you God…

finally a chance to pee.

12 seconds….hmmmm…

OMMMM

OM OM OM

“MOMMEEEEEEEE!”

Sweet Lord NO!

“MOMMEEEEEE!!!! I NEEDS YOU.  IT MERGENT-C MOMMY!”

OMG…she may be injured.  My sweet baby…

Halt the mission…

stop mid stream — causing what is certain to be permanent damage to my bladder and perhaps entire elimination system…

Hobble to the door – pants and panties now residing at the ankles…

Drop to the floor outside the bathroom…

do not want to flash the neighbors.

“Honey!  Are you okay?!  What is it???!”

“Mommy!  My movie – it over – I want a other one”

Excuse me!

“Mommy you need a pull up your pants.  You look funny”

Speechless…

At a complete loss of power – pants at my ankles and on the floor.

Just one minute on my throne…

is all..

all I needed…

but…

I ended up with this chaos.

COULD I HAVE SOME PRIVACY PLEASE?

Make me feel better does this ever happen to you?

Tell me a story…

the story of your throne.

Advertisements
 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 4, 2010 in Parenthood, Parenting, Potty, Toddler

 

One response to “Privacy Please

  1. Marge Roate

    October 5, 2010 at 7:15 am

    Bless your heart….yes, been there done that! Now you know the rest of the story! Had to be a desperate mommy who invented Depends! Love & hugs, Aunt Margie

     

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: