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Ode to Ambien

10 Oct

I think if you asked any mother of small children what the one thing in life she most misses, it would be SLEEP.

 

You remember that right?

That “state” of calm and rest lasting from 7-9 hours typically…

except on rare and glorious occasions when it may increase to an even a euphoric 10 hours

 

Well…

since having two under 4, I have not had more than a full on 6.5 hours of sleep in one night in at least 9 months.

Most of the time I take in about 5 1/2 hours.

Why?

Because I have a lot of shit to do.

duh

 

So when I hear from a friend of mine who was out drinkin’ that she only got 7 hours of sleep last night…

I pretty much want to punch her.

 

And even when I get to bed at a reasonable hour (like 11 p.m.) I can’t shut my mind off.

  1. Did I put sneakers in for soccer (3-year-old soccer –that is another blog entry on it’s own)
  2. Did I remember the daycare application?
  3. Did I pay the Mastercard bill?
  4. Damnit – I forgot to get that black suit cleaned for my meeting tomorrow.

 

You know what the answer is folks?

To not sleeping?

It is…

DRUGS.

Yes it is.

 

A friend was visiting recently and gave me one of her Ambien.

It was like a peanut butter and banana sandwich (with the calories magically gone)

A Jordan Cabernet

Christmas

Fitting in to your skinny jeans without having to lie flat on the bed or having your intestines sucked out

It’s just friggin’ awesome!

So AMBIEN (or YUMOLICIOUS) – was the BOMB!

The next morning I woke and had the oddest feeling.  I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Hmmm..

  1. I am happy
  2. I am not snapping at my kids
  3. I am aware of my surroundings
  4. I am not entirely frightening to look at in the mirror
  5. I spoke to my neighbor in a friendly manner (and wasn’t even being sarcastic)

 

OH MY GOD!

I AM ….

Rested!

Shut up…

I am refreshed

Relaxed

Rejuvenated

I was flat on my back for 7 hours and ceased all form of work with the possible exception of dreaming

I love Ambien so much…

I’m going to name my next pet after it.

That’s what I am gonna do …

yep…

Ambien.

Come here Ambien… come to Mama.

 

 

Please Lord don’t be mad at me for taking drugs... But… I needs my sleep.

 

 

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1 Comment

Posted by on October 10, 2010 in Angels, Sleep

 

One response to “Ode to Ambien

  1. Marge Roate

    October 11, 2010 at 5:46 am

    Living life through chemistry…it works Kelly! A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to survive! Bless your sweet rested heart! Love you, Aunt Margie

     

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