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78 Gummy Bears

23 Oct

Let me tell you something about traveling with little kids…

Don’t do it…

I would stay home until they are at least 10

Or check with UPS on shipping rates

I have traveled with little ones A LOT

And I mean a LOT

They sent my 3 ½ year old a United credit card if that tells you anything

So recent trip with two in tow.

I was reminded of my life traveling pre-chil’rens.

ah...the good ol' days

People ask me all the time.

“How do you do it?”

Isn’t it hard?”

I really want to say “duh dumbass”

Why don’t you ask me something without an answer that is soooo obvious…

I am insane.

Could there be any other explanation?

Really I think I must be by now.

So two in tow cross-country

Two of those single serving Benadryls…

In my top 10 favorite products of all time…

The Pediatrician even recommends them…

For the health and welfare of all the passengers (especially mine)

And you know how much they slept…

Not a wink…

Not one

Me…

I am basically a zombie…

With a blank stare as an answer to anything including how are you and what would you like to drink.

I brought a book with me –

I have to plug it because it is sooooooooooooooooo good.

At Least In the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream.

You will laugh your ass off…

This guy and his partner move to the wilderness basically so he can write like Thoreau…

You will … D….I….E!!

So funny…

He does like a bad word (and it’s very effective)…

If that bothers you skip on to something in the self-help or cooking section.

I am so excited about this book I am sweating…

You are going to laugh out loud… maybe spray a little of your dink on your neighbor…

It’s worth it…

And if you don’t…

you need to make an appointment with your doctor…

Because something is seriously wrong with you)

Counting the minutes until my two cherubs go to dreamland…

AHHH….

Waiting…

Waiting…

Nothing…

Tennyson about to completely melt into a messy puddle because she can’t find food or a small toy to throw across the aisle…

And Landon on a tirade because the FAA will not permit the use of electronic devices during takeoff and landing.

Baffled…

“Aren’t you sleepy yet?”

Landon  “No!”

Tennyson…. “gglahdahha” or some such as she hurls her sippy mug in the floor.

Not going to give me even a wink.

DAMNIT!

I love to read but…

now it takes me 3-4 months to read a book…

just one book!

Even a funny one about being gay in the woods….

So I…

  • Read 0 pages…
  • Paced the cabin 11 times…
  • Changed 2 diapers…
  • Sat on a 20 month old to keep her from caressing 21C for the 11th time
  • And ate 78 gummy bears…

Because that is all I could manage with 2 toddlers…

And…

I was proud of that accomplishment.

I have lots more to share but am afraid to say more in this installment for fear it may case a plummet in holiday air travel.

oh my God! What a great idea... next time.

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1 Comment

Posted by on October 23, 2010 in Traveling with kids

 

One response to “78 Gummy Bears

  1. Marge Roate

    October 24, 2010 at 5:41 am

    Geez….and I thought I had my hands full yelling and screaming to help Auburn beat LSU! Truth be known ….Cam Newton and the Tigers don’t even need my crazy antics in front of the TV…they do seem to hear me call the plays though! Hang in there Kelly. Before you know it they will be grown and on their own and you’ll wonder, “Where did the time go? How did I loose so much hair and sense?” It’s all good! Aunt Margie

     

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