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Burning Down The House

25 Nov

It is Thanksgiving.

Wahoo.

Honestly not my favorite holiday.

I don’t eat meat…

and even when I did I thought turkey was overrated.

Moving on.

So it’s all going…

Cranberry sauce

Cornbread dressing

Green beans

Carrots

Rolls

Mashed potatoes

It’s a symphony of pots and pans

I the conductor

My spatula the baton.

Ave Maria in my kitchen.

Or is it a bad rap song…

such as…

Love the Way You Lie Flat -Eminem

Deep and meaningful…

Homemade rolls..

Yeast a-rising…

Okay that even made me laugh…

But they are in the oven on warm…

Homemade honey butter (that part is actually true)

Potatoes done.

Dressing cooking

Cranberries percolating…

I rock.

Look at me in yoga pants and northface

I’m a semi-fit flippin’ Julia Child.

Feeling proud I am…

until…

A gooe’d up yogurt cup lands on my black suede boots…

Courtesy of slippery toddler hands..

And why are my boots in the kitchen…

I haven’t had time to move them since Monday.

CRAP

Then I hear a hiss…

and see the cranberries have boiled over…

Putting out the gas flame…

And leaving a sticky crusty heap…

I fear even a blow torch will not remove.

 

And then the smell…

DAMNIT…

Where is that number for Dominoes?

Toasting almonds…

Except broil is not toast…

Broil is…

Fire in the hole!

2 pounds of fresh almonds dead…

Burned beyond recognition…

All those Omega three’s down the drain…

19.98 and the only healthy thing on the menu…

WASTED.

I am seriously thinking that my original plan…

turkey hotdog with a catsup ribbon for the kids…

wine for Mommy…

was…

Brilliant!

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING YA’LL

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Posted by on November 25, 2010 in Cooking, Thanksgiving

 

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