The Wump of Gump

21 Dec

So I read my daughter a story of her choosing last night.

She picked One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Satan's training manual



You want to stress a parent out?


Ask them to read Dr. Seuss

After working all day

And before wine


Especially One Fish Two Fish.

62 pages of tongue twisters.




Now is that nice?


Did Dr. Suess have any kids?

Is he the devil?

When is the last time you read one of these?

Let me give you a little clip.




Did you ever ride a Wump?

We have a Wump

with just one hump


We know a man

Called Mr. Gump

Mr. Gump has a seven hump Wump


If you like to go Bump! Bump!

Just jump on the hump of the Wump of Gump.

I am telling you.

Dr. Suess?

Was tripping on something good.

What else could it be?


I mean do you think he came up with this over a cup of Earl Grey?

A nice hot bath?

A long session of meditation?

No! He was stoned.


Honestly I asked Landon to

pick up your pink princess panties please

And ended up spitting on her.


How am I supposed to read this to her?

She will need a raincoat.


But I tried.

And I laughed a bit.

And I got through page 19…

The Wump Bump page.

And Landon pointed to the Wump and said

“that’s a caramel”

“honey…  You mean camel.”

And I laughed until I fell off the bed.


Was not amused.


Posted by on December 21, 2010 in Toddler


Tags: , ,

2 responses to “The Wump of Gump

  1. Lori stefanac (Lola)

    December 21, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    So what do you mean that Dr. Seuss smoked? He smoked and he toked? This is really no joke(d)!
    He was stoned when he wrote and was high as a kite? A kite with a light? That made everything bright?

    I know it’s a poor imitation but I do love Dr. Seuss!

    • kellyozley

      December 21, 2010 at 1:32 pm

      Wow! Girl – you may have a second calling here. You are welcome to ready an Dr. Suess over here anytime.


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