we just got this doll.
After seeing the movie.
Well I saw about 40% of it
Because my youngest kept wanting to kick the lady in front of us
And run up and down the rows screaming…
It is a cute movie and…
The doll is darling!
In a sort of
the Devil has taken possession of my soul
kind of a way.
Down to her feet.
And a BIG head.
So… I am lying with my uber excited daughter…
trying to get her to calm down.
“Rapunzel must sit Mommy”
Then she has to swoop around to her pillow throne
Then swoosh back around with her 18 inches of hair flying about
to land between us.
Rapunzel has smacked Mommy
Dead center of her forehead.
I was bitchslapped…
by a doll.
Honestly her hair covered my entire head.
It could have been a fatal injury…
I might never have been found…
Covered in the down comforter and…
Smothered with blonde locks
You will not survive.
“LANDON! you hurt Mommy”
“but Mommy it not Rapunzel fault… she has to move.”
Honestly they look at you like you are absolutely the dumbest person on the face of the earth…
and you wonder if they are not right?
I leave and threaten to chuck Rapunzel out the front door if there is any more commotion.
I need to check my injury…
and get some Neosporin.
Landon and Rapunzel are now sleeping
So I think.
Pouring my long awaited and well deserved red wine…
I hear a shuffle…
Padding across the floor?
Surely that cannot be MY child.
“Rapunzel’s hair … it so long”
(duh…that is like the story kid)
“I don’t know why… I cuts it”
Are you kidding me?
Rapunzel was $40.
Springing in to action… I grab Rapunzel
Safe from the shears for a few moments and tell Landon.
“You git in bed NOW” (I go Southern when I am tired and wine deprived)
“Me and Rapunzel are outta here
With the prince…
And let me tell you…
We are stopping at the liquor store first.”