My mama is the best launderer…
I am serious.
She can get any stain out.
No matter how long it has been in there.
I bet she could have helped Monica out with that little stain
Saved the blue dress
And eliminated that whole scandal.
The only thing she is better at than laundering…
I mean the woman is a machine.
Hospital corners on everything.
And the fact that she is so good at folding makes up for any of those “mom-ism’s”
She doles out periodically
When I lost weight initially
Honey I think that is just bout enough exercise on your boobs”
Can you see me Mom?
“well Mom that was not exactly the target area for reduction”
Weight comes off where it does.
In a kind world, it would leave my butt and thighs…
But alas… I still have my ass.
So we have come to the folding portion of our visit
And Mama has come to my panties.
Not the briefs…
Or even hipsters…
The look on her face?
A furrowed brow?
“Kelly? what in the hell is this?
“Well I never!”
Hand to heart for impact and breathing support at the discovery of my raunchy panties.
(lest we not forget Mama is Southern)
“Honey why? Why? Would you wear these?
“So I won’t have panty lines Mom”
Going deep South
“I swanee…I never seen anything like this?”
What is a swanee people?
“Does your Daddy know you wear these things?”
“well how in the sam hell am I going to fold these?”
“MOOOMMM!. You don’t fold them… They just go in the drawer”
“KELLY LYNN… I have got to fold these clothes…I reckon I’ll just do the best I can”
And this part was worth it all…
Here she goes…
Left string over right…
Then right over left
You’ve made yourself a sheepshank.
Now once more
right string over left
Mama earned her camping badge.
I cannot tell you how much I am enjoying this.
I need the paramedics to come give me oxygen….
I can’t breathe!
And then Mama can take no more…
“I give up… I declare I do”
“I don’t know Kelly… I think these could cut off your circulation or sump’en”
OH MY GOD!
I do love when Mama comes to visit.