Today as I drove through Denver
I got my picture taken by a total stranger…
Mid to late 30’s
Dark, unmarked car.
Striking fear initially
When I realized
What it was?
Sitting in my anger…
My anger turned to a revelation of sorts.
Because you see…
I have found my dream job.
Because how hard can this be to do?
To sit in a car and let a machine take pictures of unsuspecting drivers.
And how does the job description read for this?
Must be able to drive
But only for short distances and for even shorter periods of time
Verbal communication entirely unnecessary
You need not take notes
There is no deliverable
No requirement to plan the rollout of a new product
Or meet any sort of quota
You must drive to your location
Set up camera
Meaning turn it on
And THEN, you may…
Write your Christmas thank you notes
Plan your weekend camping trip
Mull over the recent rash of mass bird deaths
Set up your eHarmony profile
You must drive home.
And tell your mom about your stressful day.
Swear to God …
Have you not seen these people?
They are sleeping
Not even trying to hide that fact
Feet in the air
Dark glasses to block the morning glare.
Have they no shame?
A curtain perhaps…
Something to hide the true nature of this complicated job.
They can get ya
Don’t be a pickin’ your nose.
It will be permanently etched on a photo
You will receive in the mail
What the Hell?