Fat On a Hot Tin Roof

03 Feb

It has been bitter cold right?



Like so cold that two days ago

While driving to school

my daughter asked me for a wipe

I grabbed the bag.

Wondering who had put a white brick in my car.


The bag of wipes…

Frozen solid.


I tried to pull one out for her and it?


How weird is that?


So a toasty fire and a toddy when it is frigid…

that’s a good thing.


I am not the best fire builder I admit.

I think a full on Sunday paper is very good kindling…

The whole thing…

Even the shiny pages.

But I did it.  It is made and it is toasty.


I leave the room to grab my purse.



I counted…

11 seconds…

What could have happened?

And this was a serious scream …

Surely I will find a detached limb somewhere.




I see Landon looking at the fire.

OH MY GOD … what happened?  I closed the glass screen.  WHAT HAPPENED?

That... is gonna hurt.


“Mommy!  The chimley…

the chimley…

it be so hot…

and dere is fire”



Santa Claus is going to get a big OUI!”





I have to look away because it is just sooo cute… and so funny.

Get it together Mommy.

“No honey –  it is February and Santa is not coming tonight”

“but Mommy he might…

Waaaa!  Waaa!

I don’t like it…

you so mean Mommy.

Why you no like Santa?”




“Mommy!!!  I love Santa!”

“I love my presents”



Okay this is going on and on…

way too much.


I have made an executive decision as the house executive.

We just can’t have fires anymore…

until they figure out this Santa gig.

You know… that the fat man is not bringing all the toys

(that it is really me who rocks)

Because this Santa thing…

Honestly it is too good…

To give up.

And I think I have a few years right – like til 12 or so right?


Especially as Christmas nears, if the kids act up, I have only to say 2 words:

“Santa Claus!”

….”don’t make me…”

“Mommy… NO!! I be so nice now.”


It’s just too good.


I am headed to Home Depot…

Just gonna get us a bigger heater.



Posted by on February 3, 2011 in Misbehaving, Parenting


Tags: , ,

2 responses to “Fat On a Hot Tin Roof

  1. Shannon

    February 3, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    Even better than Santa… is the Elf on the Shelf!! This goes in the silly bandz category of why in the HE double hockey sticks why didn’t I THINK OF THAT? It rocks. You have to check it out. 🙂

    • kellyozley

      February 4, 2011 at 9:38 am

      We found about the “elf” for the first time this year. he if fantastic.


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