AGAIN, I am sick
Before children I was never sick…
The picture of health.
And now I think I am just depleted of pretty much everything of any value in my body.
So here we go again and I have the flu.
I woke up and looked for the truck which had clearly run over me time and time again.
And your kids don’t get it when you are sick. They do not.
And even if they did…
they would not care.
So I am in bed most of the day…
And when I can focus my eyes, I walk in to the den to find…
Couch cushions on the floor
Toys strewn about
No lid on anything
MY purse contents on the table.
I cannot even speak
“What were you…”
“I am going to….”
WAAAAA WAAAAAA WAAAAAAAA
And I tell them “Mommy is so sick…. So sick… you have to help Mommy”
And they look at me as if I am crazy because I am crying and my hair looks like I have combed it with the blender.
I go back to bed, bucket beside me…
Just in case.
Landon has to come in.
“Mommy I take care of you
I kiss you on the nose
I rub your back
I bring you a fizzy drink with a straw”
But now she wants to talk.
I am just about hallucinating.
“Mommy do you love me?”
“Mommy, how much?”
“A lot honey”
I am dying here.
Do you love my sister?”
“what about when she be so screaming”
“well… I don’t love that part so much”
“Me either Mommy… I just love all her other parts”
In my bucket.
My insides are being kicked about by some alien.
And my little caregiver?
The one who promised to be so sweet and take care of me?
Do you know what she says to me?
you be so loud…
I can’t hear my show”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?