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The Foot Thingy

09 Feb

Can we talk about the shoe thang?

That knee high wanna be thing they give you to try on shoes

And there are like…

500 in a little tiny box.

That are likely made in China …

And cost 29 cents…

For the entire box.

 

My Nemesis

 

 

 

 

In all seriousness…

 

What the hell?

 

 

 

 

I mean you put it on.

And IF…

Your wintry dry hands don’t run it

You callused feet are sure to.

Not to mention the fact that the overall design is flawed.

It barely covers your toes.

Has a thin and unattractive seam right down the center.

And if you tug just a smidge to pull it up over the heel…

It slides off the front of your foot.

So you try again and tug it back over the front of the foot.

So it falls off the back.

And you are screwed AGAIN.

 

And have you tried on boots with them?

Brillant.

You try on the boot which goes up to your knee.

And the footie is barely on your foot…

And you are scared it may fall off…

And you will get the bubonic plague.

IN!   You are in!  Yeah!

Ummmm ummm that seam is uber comfortable.

 

So 90% of your leg is exposed to other peoples’ germs.

But that 10%, your foot is protected…

For now.

 

And as soon as you take off the boot.

Your footie comes off…

IN the boot.

And then you lose your balance

And step on the fungusy carpet.

ACCKK!

 

OMG

 

How much more would it have cost to make a foot try on thingy that?

Oh I don’t know…

Actually covered your foot?

Like maybe …

Perhaps…

Came up to?

Dare I say it…

YOUR ANKLE BONE.

Nobel Peace Prize guaranteed.

 

Honestly if I could get that shoe thingy to stay on…

I can guarantee you I would buy more shoes.

 

And oh by the way?

I AM PAYING A BABYSITTER FOR THIS EXPERIENCE!!

 

So screw you DSW

I’m sticking with my flip flops.

 

She is only happy BECAUSE she has on stockings... and does not need the footie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Shopping

 

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