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Shovel This!

11 Feb

When you are sick

And it snows 6 inches

Temps in single digits

Below freezing even one night

The snow becomes a thick sheet of ice

If you don’t shovel.

 

But when you are sick

And having dreams of hairy bugs

in your bed

having a picnic…

(weird I know)

You don’t care

And I didn’t

I said screw it

Everything about me hurt.

 

So today when my friend Sheila came to visit…

In her stiletto taupe above the knee boots…

She damn near killed herself trying to reach the front door.

 

Nice visit.

Hug Hug

And she has to go to the next stop.

 

She nears the front door and her pace slows…

Such that I near ’bout rear end her.

 

She says…

“Is there a way out to my car other than this….

Maybe your garage”

 

Ummmm

“well the garage is back there and …

you would have to walk in your stilettos down one of the busiest roads in Denver”

 

or…

I have been working on my nose-twitching…

Maybe I can just Bewitch you right on out to it.

 

So we compromise and she uses my snow boots to walk to her car…

Then meets me in the driveway for the switch.

 

I decide I should probably attempt some shoveling…

6 days post storm…

Before someone not so nice shows up.

 

Here we go.

Steps first…

People they are sheets of ice.

 

So trying with the show shovel.

Scoot scoot – come on buddy!   %*&$@@#

Not moving.

 

Okay well I will stand on the snow shovel

 

like you do with a regular shovel…

 

For force and depth.

 

 

 

 

 

ACCKKKK!   FALLING!

 

It’s like the pogo stick ejected me.

 

And now…

My snow shovel is a C…

Curled and useless.

 

DAMNIT

 

I figure I can break the ice with a hammer…

Yes that is it.

 

Tap Tap Tap

OMG

This is working.

 

The ice is breaking off in little pieces…

And isn’t that efficient!

But if you do get a big slab to break off…

Well good on you.

But it is heavy and you have to hurl each piece to the side.

 

Sigh!  Honest to God I tried.

 

Looking around I am reminded…

I have a corner lot.

And I am on the second step.

I?

Will be here until St.Patty’s Day.

 

Forget that #%$&*

 

 

 

Honestly?

 

 

This…

 

 

Is what it felt like.

 

 

 

 

So I take my C shovel to the trash…

Reckon that I did my best…

Make a cup of tea.

Over which I pray for sun…

And forgiving people…

With sensible footwear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on February 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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