RSS

Bobbi’s Crayon

21 Feb

“Mommy?”

 

“Yes Honey?”

 

“You wan a see my picture?”

 

“Oh yes!”

 

“See?  I did my letters…

my name

See dat is an L

You know like in my name”

 

APPALLED! I am surprised to see near perfect lettering…

In a raised and creamy autumnal hue.

My heart stopping for a moment.

“Yes honey…

I do see”

 

I am locked on to her masterpiece before me…

Wanting to look away…

But unable to…

Like a Vulcan trance.

 

“I see…

I see…

I do see”

“And HONEY it would appear that you have run out of crayons”

“BECAUSE YOU WROTE YOUR NAME IN MY LIPSTICK!!!!

YOU WROTE YOUR NAME IN MY BOBBI BROWN LIPSTICK

MY GO TO LIPSTICK”

 

Ladies…

you know this anger…

the betrayal…

the panic over what in God’s name will adorn your lips tomorrow.

And ladies…

you also know…

Just how long it takes to craft the perfect lipstick shape…

So that it goes on flawlessly…

EVERY TIME.

 

And you know the shape of your lipstick says a lot about you…

It does.

Like I am a flat top.

Leave it people… Way too easy!

My lipstick shape

 

And flat top lipstick girls are:

  • To the point
  • High morals
  • Very dependable
  • Quick minded
  • Love challenges
  • Careful about appearances

 

I am totally serious about this.  It is like handwriting analysis but with lipstick.

They use it all the time on CSI Little Rock or whatever city they are spinning off this week.

 

If you do not believe me…check out this scientific evidence.

http://www.martinarmand.com/Lipstick_Shapes.html

 

And now my favorite pucker polish is but a concave nub.

 

On and on I go

“…and Landon! You know this very lipstick was one of In Style magazine’s top picks…

Did you KNOW that honey?”

Blah di blah di blah

 

OMG!!!  OMG!!!   OMG!!!

I have NO time in the next 10 days to even get to Nordstrom’s to get another one.

Arms flailing…

stuttering over words…

looking for the corkscrew…

And?

she is gone.

Landon has left…

In the middle of my important monologue.

 

Pad Pad Pad…

Here she comes.

“here you go Mommy…

You can have mine”

 

It is her watermelon smoothie Hello Kitty lip gloss.

There you have it.

That girl is so smart…

She foiled my rant.

 

So we both put on a little Hello Kitty…

(the sugar and unnatural products eroding my teeth by the second I am certain)

We told each other we looked pretty.

And went about our business.

 

But I?

am still out my favorite lipstick.

WAAAAA!

Advertisements
 
3 Comments

Posted by on February 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , ,

3 responses to “Bobbi’s Crayon

  1. Brenda Fry Avant

    February 21, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Love it Kelly!

     
  2. Shannon

    February 22, 2011 at 9:29 am

    These are the things that I miss by having two boys…. the list is actually endless and although I am sad that there aren’t any little girls in my life, there is the upside… like the woman I work with who showed me her oh so cute wrap she had on this morning with one sleeve destroyed from her daughters. I won’t run into that one. Well… at least I hope not, but that’s a whole other kind of wine and therapy required if so! 🙂

     
    • kellyozley

      February 22, 2011 at 10:48 am

      Oh honey… I am sure we could get Ms.Landon to mangle your lipstick too. I hear you though. I am sure I will miss not having frogs in my bed and the like. 🙂

       

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: