Dinner for Mommy

09 May

For Mother’s Day, my 4 year old made me “dinner”



“I made you some’ting to eat”



here you go”


Is served on a Barbie plate

Somewhere between the size of a quarter and half dollar

And unless?

My wine has already kicked in…

It is invisible?

“Oh Wow honey!”
“Yea I know Mommy…

It be so ‘licous”

“It is tonica”


“Tonica and matas”

Say what???

“Oh did you use tomatoes?”

“and pantenias”


“Mommmmmmmy…..NO…. not panties…pantenias”

What in the hell is a pantenia?

“And it is topped wit trees and cream?”


“MOOOOMMMM!  Not trees. I said TREATS.”

She is 4 and rolling her eyes as if this is about to kill her.
How did I become so stupid is such a short period of time.


“and… on top of da treats is sprinkles”

Which sprinkles are required for everyDAMNthing…

  • Eggs
  • Ice cream
  • Applesauce
  • Her hand

“and Mommy….


In da middle is a sa’prise…

I not gonna tells you what it is”

Half breath…


“It a spaceship”

“wit… Arians…

Under the whip creamzzzzzzzzzzz”


With whipped cream???

Where does she get this stuff?!

Maybe this is why I can never get her ass in the bed at night.

Because that imagination has been working all day on reasons NOT to comply.

“Mommy I need watermelon ginerale with chocolate sprinkles soda” (is there even such a thing?)

“Mommy….you are definately definately bootiful”

nice touch… will give her that.

“Mommy my puppy needs a haircut”


Do not have a dog.

“Mommy I has to go to the bathroom because my fairy Godmutter told me to.”

“Mommy… Mommy…I be so worried about you.  I should watch dat movie with you so you don’t be so scared.”

You can see I do not stand a chance here.

1 Comment

Posted by on May 9, 2011 in Cooking, Sleep


Tags: , ,

One response to “Dinner for Mommy

  1. Lori stefanac (Lola)

    May 9, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    All I know is I want whatever SHE’S smoking! Hope you had a nice Mother’s Day!


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