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Dinner for Mommy

09 May

For Mother’s Day, my 4 year old made me “dinner”

“Mama”

“Yes?”

“I made you some’ting to eat”

“Oh?”

“Yes…

here you go”

It?

Is served on a Barbie plate

Somewhere between the size of a quarter and half dollar

And unless?

My wine has already kicked in…

It is invisible?

“Oh Wow honey!”
“Yea I know Mommy…

It be so ‘licous”

“It is tonica”

?????

“Tonica and matas”

Say what???

“Oh did you use tomatoes?”

“and pantenias”

“Panties?”

“Mommmmmmmy…..NO…. not panties…pantenias”

What in the hell is a pantenia?

“And it is topped wit trees and cream?”

“Trees?”

“MOOOOMMMM!  Not trees. I said TREATS.”

She is 4 and rolling her eyes as if this is about to kill her.
How did I become so stupid is such a short period of time.

“Oh”

“and… on top of da treats is sprinkles”

Which sprinkles are required for everyDAMNthing…

  • Eggs
  • Ice cream
  • Applesauce
  • Her hand

“and Mommy….

Mommy…

In da middle is a sa’prise…

I not gonna tells you what it is”

Half breath…

“Mommy?”

“It a spaceship”

“wit… Arians…

Under the whip creamzzzzzzzzzzz”

What???
Arians???

With whipped cream???

Where does she get this stuff?!

Maybe this is why I can never get her ass in the bed at night.

Because that imagination has been working all day on reasons NOT to comply.

“Mommy I need watermelon ginerale with chocolate sprinkles soda” (is there even such a thing?)

“Mommy….you are definately definately bootiful”

nice touch… will give her that.

“Mommy my puppy needs a haircut”

We?

Do not have a dog.

“Mommy I has to go to the bathroom because my fairy Godmutter told me to.”

“Mommy… Mommy…I be so worried about you.  I should watch dat movie with you so you don’t be so scared.”

You can see I do not stand a chance here.

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1 Comment

Posted by on May 9, 2011 in Cooking, Sleep

 

Tags: , ,

One response to “Dinner for Mommy

  1. Lori stefanac (Lola)

    May 9, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    All I know is I want whatever SHE’S smoking! Hope you had a nice Mother’s Day!

     

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