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I Got The Music In Me…

23 May

I would like to offer you moms some superior advice.

I like MUSIC…
A lot.

So we routinely jam…

(which is really more like a seated convulsion)
On the way to school…
And back.


But…
Some of the songs are just not appropriate for little ears…
So you need to change them.

And they often prompt questions…

for which you are not prepared at 7:00 in the morning.

I realize for those less creative than me (seemingly ALL OF YOU!!)
does my modesty astound you??
This may be a stressful task.

But I?

Am the master…

So… let me show you…

Now you may ride to school…

Singing all the way…

And feeling no stress whatsoever.

I Kissed a Girl

…Katy Perry
I kissed a squirrel
Try it …it totally works.

The Bitch Is Back

(if you find an oldie station)

which are my favorite.

The Witch is back.

and?  if your children push you?

tell them you know her personally and not to make you call her.

Do That To Me One More Time

“Mommy….what dat song about?”

“Um..

Tickling…

It is about tickling.”

Note:  For all songs when they ask what are they about…

Which mine do all the time…

The answer is tickling.

Or

How much they love and cherish their mother.

I Want To Be Your Lover

Who does not love some Billy Ocean?
What do you MEAN…
Who is Billy Ocean???
I want to be your brother works well.

 

I’m Bringing Sexy Back

New version:
I’m bringing Mexy back…

And when asked…

You say: he is really fond of Mexican food and wants to add it to the school menu.

See how this works?
It is nothing short of brilliant right?

Funky Town?

“Mama … where is FunkyTown…”
Duh…
“In all the Shrek movies honey”

She Bang!

Try?

She sang….

But…

as this is Ricky Martin…

He probably meant she banged pots and pans…

So really it IS totally innocent.

Lets Talk About Sex…

Salt-N-Pepa.
Just turn it off…
I can’t work with this one.

Does Your Mother Know?

I just use this as a chance to throw in that

“your mother always knows”

And…

she always sees.

EVERY TIME.

Redneck Woman…

“Mama what is dat?”

“OH?

Well…

she has a red pashmina she wears in the winter.”

“A what?”

“Never mind honey…

You will never live in a trailer park…

This is an irrelevant discussion.”

Mama He’s Crazy

“Mommy who he is?  Who is so crazy?”

“Honey… all hes are crazy”

Nuff said.

So sing…
Sing a song…
Sing out load…
Sing out strong…

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Posted by on May 23, 2011 in Music, Uncategorized

 

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