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Snap…Crackle… Pop!

16 Jun

 

Hell hath no fury as a toddler pissed!

Honey!

Do you hate the mornings?

It is like a full moon every morning around here.

What causes the madness?

“No…

Not dat dress…

Da other one”

“No…

it has a tie…

I hate dat tie…

I hate it…

MOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYY FIX IT”

And we are 4.

I thought I had a bit of time before the drama kicked in full throttle.

 

And then a scream…

From the kitchen…

A HISS

Another hiss…

Tennyson is being dragged by the cat.

 The 24 lb cat…

Whose tail she has…

As he pulls her across the kitchen.

Like skiing…

on linoleum.

He? Is not happy.

 

And Breakfast…

Little Tenny has been up since before 6.

And has consumed:

  • a bowl of cereal
  • 3 soy sausages
  • And scrambled eggs

I hid my English muffin under a paper towel in the bathroom sink.

I shit you not.

So she wouldn’t see it.

 

Just a bite as I put on mascara.

DAMNIT!  She spied it…

 

“I want some dat”

Honestly if you want to lose weight…

let me just send her over.

 

And now her sister is eating.

But we are dressed and finishing breakfast.

It is 7:52 a.m.

Honestly…

We are doing good.

 

Until?

Tenny wants Landon’s cereal…

The very same kind she ate earlier…

And now has a second bowl of.

 

“I WANT”

  “No honey”

  “it mines”

 “It is not yours… it’s Landon’s”

“MOMMY…. I want… I want”

And then the chant!

mine

mine

mine

mine

mine

mine

mine

mine

mine

 

So relaxing…

She smacks her hands on the table in a desperate fit for her sister’s nourishment…

Milk spills…

but just a bit…

Quick to the paper towel I am.

Only to hear:

 

“waaaa waaaa  waaaa”

This time Landon

“Mommy look what she did”

waaaa waaaa waaaa

 

And I see no cereal on the table.

Oh no she didn’T!

 

She?

In her fit…

Sent the bowl scooting across the table…

Rice Krispies all over the place…

But the bowl?

Landed on the cat.

And folks?

It is only 7:54 a.m.

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2 Comments

Posted by on June 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “Snap…Crackle… Pop!

  1. Marilyn Craig

    June 17, 2011 at 8:43 am

    God I’m glad I’m not the only one who hides food/drink from my toddler…often also in the bathroom.

     
  2. Shannon

    June 17, 2011 at 8:47 am

    Thank God I’m not the only one… I just don’t have your eloquence for the written word. Hang in there. The good news? It’s Friday. 🙂

     

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