If you had told me 5 years ago that I would spend 83 minutes on a Sunday blowing up a dolphin pool,
I would have called you crazy.
I mean I am successful salesperson…
I am a Mom.
So that day?
It was I who is crazy.
Because our old pool broke…
So we must have a new one.
The one I bought…has a dolphin slide.
I did not read the box…
I would have spent that afternoon spraying the children with the hose…
And not blowing a dolphin I just met.
The first thing I see out of the box is this large attachment device.
Not the normal raft type inflation thingy (the thing you just blow your own hot air in to)
Get a pump of some kind
We have four pumps…
One battery operated camping one…
Will NEVER be used for camping as long as I am conscious.
One for my ab ball.
One standard bike pump.
One travel bike pump.
Of them worked.
I tried them all…
One by one.
NOTHING… NADA…ZILCH…NEGATORY MON AMI
15 minutes in I find three standard blow up thingys.
And when there are three blow up thingys on one pool?
That is trouble.
I had to stop 11 times to get this thing blown up…
I am in decent shape.
Cardiovascularly that is.
Won’t be winning Miss a Hawaiian Tropic…
but I am a frequent flyer at the gym.
80 inches of hell.
And all the while I am “blowing” the dolphin pool…
Or Devil’s Spawn as I will be now referring to it.
My daughter is trying to help.
Has a new definition when you have children.
a 3-5 year old…
determined to make even the simplest task take 4 times as long…
resulting in a mess…
typically ending in parental injury…
usually a cast, stitches, or eye patch.
is continuing to try the 4 pumps I have previously certified as USELESS!
And by spinning the pool around w/ ME attached…
throwing off my equilibrium…
and sending me careening in to the dirt.
Then screaming at the top of her lungs:
“Mom you are such a great blower.”
“You are da best blowing Mom in da world”
“I am going to tell everyone what a good blower you are”
My dad will be so proud.
As he was when he found out I could tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.
It was a college thing.
To which he replied.
“my dear… you should have no problem finding a date”