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Bumpit…real good!

29 Jul

At my company…

we partner…

to drive more sales…

a.k.a. get more MOO-lah.

 

and my friend Suzy…

has taken this to an entirely new level.

 

She?

Is southern.

And Southern girls like big hair,

High heels,

And our mascara.

 

*** free Wayne Newton CD with each purchase...limited time offer***

 

So Suzy has a meeting…

With a customer.

The humidity is not helping her do.

It is a don’t.

So…

She uses the Bumpit.

 

 

The what?

 Come on people…

Seriously?

 The bumpit was designed entirely for Southern women…

To create the illusion of the thick and high hair.

It is the equivalent of the wonder bra…

Only for hair.

Even Snooki uses it…

and we all know she is a style icon.

 

A tutorial for your own beautification.

 

 

She arrives.

A key meeting with her long time customer.

The casual, expected hug.

Lean in.

Tap tap on the shoulder.

Pull away.

 But Wait!

They are not parting.

They are entangled.

 A love connection?

Long felt lust now…

Requited.

 

NO!
NO!

 

The Bumpit’s done got him!!!

OMG

OMG

OMG

 

Suzy’s Bumpit is caught in his hair.

They are intertwined…

Like braces in the 6th grade.

 

OMG

OMG

OMG

 

Pulling…

Gently at first…

Then a firm tug.

She is free.

The Bumpit?

Still attached to Lou.

And Lou?

Is clearly trying to figure out how his going to explain this to his wife.

 

Suzy’s hair?

Resembles a bird’s nest…

Sans the bird.

 

The awkward silence….

And then a rumble…

Then roar…

Laughter…

Thigh slapping laughter.

 

They laughed for 15 minutes.

And Lou signed the deal.

And Suzy?

Is considering a trendy bob or sleek ponytail.

Bumpit gone bad...WAY bad. She looks like a human hammer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment

Posted by on July 29, 2011 in Beauty

 

Tags: , , ,

One response to “Bumpit…real good!

  1. Tawni Blake

    August 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Hilarious! As a fellow southern belle–love it!

     

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