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Miami Vice

09 Sep

We took a trip recently…

to Miami.

Me…

The girls…

Grandma…

And?

Dewars.

 

Upon arrival and much hysteria…

Of which I am sure you will read at a later date…

We take the Super Shuttle to the hotel.

 

Super means?

we will cram this bus super full…

of people you don’t know…

most don’t speak English…

several cold use a bath…

and a perfume spritz.

 

Me, two kids, grandma, and 6 new “friends”.

UGH.

All I want to do is get there.

 

The driver?

Is going on and on and on.

Endless banter.

Periodic tidbits of Miami trivia.

Certainly nothing I felt compelled to commit to memory.

 

But mostly…

 

Cat calls.

He rolled down his window.

And yelled lewd comments

At every woman

(regardless of how homely she was)

who passed by.

 

“ooohhhh chica chica”

“baby….baby…. ohhh….weeee…..ahhh”

“shake it baby…shake it”

“who is your daddy?”

“oohh…..I’d like to have me some of that”

 

Does this ever work?

Does he feel more manly?

 

And why?

Are the ones doing the cat calls…

The last soul on earth…

from whom you would want to receive a cat call.

Never a hottie…

Or even warmie.

 

And then …

Landon thinks it is funny…

And that this man is just so friendly.

 

“Mommy… he be so nice…to those ladies”

Ladies???

 

“Mommy?”

 

“What honey?”

 

“Can I opens my window too…

and talk to those ladies?”

 

“Ah… No you cannot”

 

Nice role model…

How much tip do you think he is getting?

 

And now I have to figure out how to keep Landon…

from hollering at hoochie mamas on the Miami strip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on September 9, 2011 in Misbehaving, Parenthood, Parenting

 

Tags: ,

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