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Shar Pei

04 Oct

It is a Sunday.

Two days ago.

 

Tennyson is napping

Thank God!

Landon is coloring quietly in the basement with me.

 

While I do yoga.

This guy …Philip Urso

http://philipurso.libsyn.com/

He is awesome.

I am serious. If you have a decent knowledge of yoga…

Check him out at home.

 

I did the combination kick your ass vinyasa with yoga Nidra…

Nidra?

well…they walk you through this breathing exercise…

This and that chakra…

Breathe in and out…

Let it go.

You are R E L A X E D!!!

 

I begin to snore.

The kind where you can hear yourself…

So you are in a euphoric type of peace.

Not a suck the curtains up your nose snore…

But a snore.

Like the steady hum of an old car.

A snore.

Nonetheless.

 

“Mommy!”

DAMN NATION!

 

“See deez…

I ax’dent-lee got one in my hand” (read as accidentally)

And we begin to cry.

 

Deez?

 

Are vitamin D.

 

Which I keep on my desk…

 

So I will actually take them.

 

Which means she opened the bottle when she should not have.

 

“Mommy…one skirted on my neck.”

 

“My vitamin D pill?

How did it accidently squirt your neck?”

“Was there an explosion?”

 

“Well…

Yeah…

Yeah!

Dat is what happened.

Ax’shoe-y”  (read actually)

 

“But…

I be scared now…

So berry scared Mommy…

Cuz dat pill had stuff in it.

Like it was yucky.

And now it be all over my neck

And it going to make my neck all crumbly

Like yours?”

 

WHAT THE HELL???

Hand to God that is the truth.

 

Mommy... is that you?

 

Now…

I frequently feel like a human Shar Pei.

But my neck?

Honestly it is in pretty good shape.

So what the hell???

 

I would write more…

But I am going straight to Nordstroms

For a serious moisturizer…

No time to chat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment

Posted by on October 4, 2011 in Yoga

 

Tags: , , , ,

One response to “Shar Pei

  1. Larah Thomson

    October 4, 2011 at 10:40 am

    grabbing my neck now….too funny! lt xo

     

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