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American?

10 Oct

We’re pondering Mama’s holiday travel plans now…

Where to go?

How long to stay?

Her aisle seat.

Aisle seat is a Big Damn Deal for Mama.

 

“Kelly Lynn?

Did you get me an aisle seat?

You know I have to have me an aisle seat.

I have the claustrophobia…

You know…

It is terrible…

I get all affright”

 

Mama needs a mint julep.

 

“Mom…

I will try…

I cannot guarantee…

I don’t know how full the plane is”

 

“Well why not?”

That is just awful…

Awful I tell ya…

That they would be so mean to an old lady”

 

What??

 

“Mom, I promise I will do the best I can”

 

“well…

I cannot…

I swainee…

I will not…

Sit in the middle…

I will fight someone Kelly…

I will.

Kelly Lynn?

Did ye hear me?”

 

OMG how is this my fault?  Like I run the damn airline.

 

“Mom!”

 

“Kelly I am serious… I cannot come if I don’t have an aisle seat…

I’ll just sit here and watch my Desperate Housewives reruns…

By myself…

On Christmas”

Seriously?

Best delivery of the guilt trip?

Goes to?

MAMA

 

But this planning makes me remember the best part of our trip to Miami.

 

The trip is over.

In the cab…

On the way to the airport.

Tired and happy.

Ready for my own bed.

Our cab driver is?

From out of town.

His name is Aashir.

We have a bit of a language barrier.

But not as bad as Mama’s.

 

Rounding the bend at the airport.

I say…

 

“sir… we are American”

 

“okay ma’am”

 

Mama chimes in:

“Kelly Lynn…

I reckon he knows that…

Don’t you think he can hear us talkin’?”

 

“Mom…

I meant our airline”

 

“Oh”

 

And honest to God…

That was the funniest moment of the entire trip.

I laughed until I slid down in the floorboard…

 

And Mama?

Just look bewildered…

And declared her daughter to be crazy and?

RUDE

 

Enjoy this…

I did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Southern, Travel, Traveling with kids

 

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