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Honesty.

22 Oct

Honestly?

Honesty…

Is NOT always the best policy.

Like?

When it has anything to do with the way I look.

 

But…

My children are nothing if not honest.

Except when it comes to owning up to bad behavior.

 

Case in point…

“Landon?”

“why is Tenny crying?”

“did you hit her?”

“Mommy?”

Canadian lift on the end.

 “She hit herself”

 Tenny is a masochist now I guess???

 

And at a playdate…

The Mom was so sweet.

She made a really nice lunch for the girls.

Complete with swiss chard.

I love swiss chard.

And my girls like broccoli, green beans, even cauliflower.

So it stands to reason that Swiss Chard would at least be palatable.

Well?

It was not.

 

Coaxing to complete the meal.

“Landon… you must finish at least some of the greens”

“Tenny you too”

 

Tenny…

Tries.

She bites.

She spits.

She cries.

“BLATT!”

 

Landon…

Not even trying to hide her distain…

“Mommy… day be so nasty…

Nasty!

BAD BAD Greens

Bad!”

 

The mother?

Sweet and quietly sitting.

“I love the honesty of a four year old”

 

Mortified I am.

How about no thank you.

or I don’t care for it.

Instead of spraying the greens across the table.

 

So…

When I got my hair cut recently…

I should have expected the complete truth.

 

I arrive to pick up the girls.

I have been talked in to bangs.

They are “all the rage”.

I did not know.

 

“You are going to look so chic.”

My stylist told me.

Or maybe she said like a freak…

It was very loud in the salon.

I look like this...cept for the acne.

 

 

These bangs?

Are the same ones I had when was 6

With a pixie.

OMG

OMG

OMG

They are like a blob dead center of my forehead.

 

The ONLY good thing?

Is that these are NOT my eyebrows…

AND?

They cover my lines.

Because?

Bangs are the new botox.

Did you know?

Me either.

 

I do not look like the girl in the magazine.

I look homeless.

 

I try a sleek ponytail with accompanying bangs.

Trying to keep my head down…

so no one will know it is me.

I walk in to get Landon.

Head still down.

EVERYONE IS TOTALLY LOOKING AT ME

I am 6 again…

With Mama’s pixie.

 

Landon runs to me and slows her pace as she nears.

 “MOMMY!”

“Did you…

Did you…

Get your hair cut?

 

“ I did…

Do you like it?”

 

“Is it going to stay like that?”

 

“well… for a while….

What do you think?”

 

“Mommy?

I don’t think that was a good choice”

Thank you for stepping on  the last shred of self esteem to which I was clinging.

 

“but Mommy…

Maybe it will grow rearrry fast”.

 

And there you have it…

Ego safely in Check.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments

Posted by on October 22, 2011 in Fashion, Hair, Makeup, Misbehaving

 

2 responses to “Honesty.

  1. Shannon

    October 22, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    I’m going to have to remember that one…. “bangs are the new botox.” I too have bangs… never did, except for the past couple of years. They are my friend. They could be yours too, but first you must go get a new stylist!!

    As stated by the sign at the local car tire store, “If you can’t be honest, at least have the decency to be vague.” The other favorite motto they had, that I use a lot, “Keep your words simple and sweet because you never know when you’re going to have to eat them.” I know you know that last one spoke to me.
    Hugs!
    Shan

     
  2. Becca

    October 22, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    Oh Gawd! The humility!!! This made me laugh so hard.

     

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