RSS

Tall One?

31 Oct

Our days are never boring here.

We are out of toilet paper.

Three girls.

No Toilet Paper

BAD BAD BAD

 

So quick trip to The Safeway

Southern people always add THE in front of the grocery store.

The Piggly Wiggly

The Winn Dixie

Hence

The Safeway

 

We pull up beside this car.

The man is pretty much reading the Sunday paper in the parking lot.

His significant other?

Also about 35…

Is going to town plucking her chin hairs.

 

Shit you not.

 

GOING TO TOWN

 

Plucking her chin.

 

Do you take your Tweezerman’s to The Safeway??

She is just

pluck

pluck

pluck

 

Landon asks?

“Mommy what she being doing?”

 

“well…

(under my breath)

“Pretty much assuring no nookie tonight.”

 HOW COMFORTABLE are you to pluck your chin hairs…

At the grocery store?

With your man right beside you?

I had to look away before she started biting her toenails.

 

And then:

 “Mommy?”

 

“what honey?”

I turn to see Landon flipping me off.

Twice.

She has pointed both her middle fingers…

at me!

 

“Mommy…

Do you know what this is?”

 

“Um…

I do.

Do you?”

 

“Oh yeah.

Mommy dis is tall one?”

 

“beg pardon?”

 

“tall one…

You know”

 

“Actually I do not know

Could you…

Could you?

Enlighten me?”

 

“MOM!”

Rolling her eyes.

I am a successful businesswoman…

But an entirely stupid Mother apparently.

 

“Mommy dis is tall one…

Like…

Where is tall one?

Where is tall one?

Like….

You know

Dumb King?”

 

What?

What is Dumb King?

?

 

“Honey?

Thumbkin?…

Is that what you mean?”

 

“Mom!…

Yes!

Dumb King”

 

“Oh!

Okay then.

Carry on.”

 

And I am relieved…

If but for a bit.

 And we trek in…

to The Safeway

For more adventures

In Toddlerville…

and TP.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Potty, Shopping

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: