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Educating Mommy

03 Nov

There are things I never knew…

Never even thought about…

until I had children.

 

Such as:

I never knew…

That the most precious gift

in life IS?

Not love.

It is not your husband…

Or a keepsake from your Grandmother.

It is SLEEP!

And so valued because of its rarity and elusive nature.

 

I never thought I would hate Dr. Seuss.

But I do.

At 8:00 p.m.

And a full day of work…

I cannot perform that sadist’s tongue twisters

 

I did not know that I would grow to despise pink…

Of any form.

Baby

Rose

Fushia

Blush

Salmon’esque

Bleek! All of them.

 

I now know?

 

That oatmeal can end up in your ear…

 

Your Blackberry…

 

Your Shoes.

 

I was unaware you see…

that I could fit in a toddler carseat…

when installing and testing it.

 

I did not know that I could…

Make eggs

Put on a toddler coat

Secure a slipping diaper

Repair a broken Princess slipper

Catch a falling sippy mug

Put on lip gloss

ALL?

at the same time.

ALL?

Seemingly unnoticed.

And apparently unappreciated.

 

I was unprepared for the fact…

 

That I will never again take/receive

 

An uninterrupted phone call.   PERIOD!!!

 

Surprised was I…

When?

On a repeated basis…

My superior negotiation skills…

Were trumped by a 4 year old.

 

I failed to realize…

That pee’ing

Is an invitation…

To toddler masses round the world.

To enter your pod of privacy…

Ask ridiculous questions

Whine

Pester

Finally commenting on your bumpy butt.

 

I was unaware

and was not expecting…

Any?

All?

Of this.

And?

That I love these little beasts

SO MUCH

None of this stuff really matters

            Most of the time.

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1 Comment

Posted by on November 3, 2011 in Misbehaving, Parenthood, Parenting

 

Tags: , ,

One response to “Educating Mommy

  1. Jill Marie

    November 5, 2011 at 8:00 am

    And you will not know what it feels like till they say “I love you infinity x infinitysquared to the power of infinity till they take higher math 🙂

     

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