Educating Mommy

03 Nov

There are things I never knew…

Never even thought about…

until I had children.


Such as:

I never knew…

That the most precious gift

in life IS?

Not love.

It is not your husband…

Or a keepsake from your Grandmother.

It is SLEEP!

And so valued because of its rarity and elusive nature.


I never thought I would hate Dr. Seuss.

But I do.

At 8:00 p.m.

And a full day of work…

I cannot perform that sadist’s tongue twisters


I did not know that I would grow to despise pink…

Of any form.






Bleek! All of them.


I now know?


That oatmeal can end up in your ear…


Your Blackberry…


Your Shoes.


I was unaware you see…

that I could fit in a toddler carseat…

when installing and testing it.


I did not know that I could…

Make eggs

Put on a toddler coat

Secure a slipping diaper

Repair a broken Princess slipper

Catch a falling sippy mug

Put on lip gloss


at the same time.


Seemingly unnoticed.

And apparently unappreciated.


I was unprepared for the fact…


That I will never again take/receive


An uninterrupted phone call.   PERIOD!!!


Surprised was I…


On a repeated basis…

My superior negotiation skills…

Were trumped by a 4 year old.


I failed to realize…

That pee’ing

Is an invitation…

To toddler masses round the world.

To enter your pod of privacy…

Ask ridiculous questions



Finally commenting on your bumpy butt.


I was unaware

and was not expecting…



Of this.


That I love these little beasts


None of this stuff really matters

            Most of the time.

1 Comment

Posted by on November 3, 2011 in Misbehaving, Parenthood, Parenting


Tags: , ,

One response to “Educating Mommy

  1. Jill Marie

    November 5, 2011 at 8:00 am

    And you will not know what it feels like till they say “I love you infinity x infinitysquared to the power of infinity till they take higher math 🙂


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