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Are You Crazy?

03 Jan

A New Year’s Day birthday party.

What fun!

Right?

 

well………..

 

I hear it.

A panicked mother’s cry.

Oh…

Thank God…

it is not me screaming

this time.

 

But then…

“ARE YOU CRAZY?”

 

And I knew.

I knew the answer.

And the child in question.

She?

Is…

in fact crazy.

And she?

Is…

in fact Tennyson.

 

I peek around the corner…

To see an open door…

to the basement.

 

The cry is coming from the stairs.

There is the birthday mom…

frazzled…

and unable to believe what is before her eyes.

 

And I see Tennyson

Riding on a PlasmaCar

DOWN…

THE FREAKIN’ STAIRS

 

 

And?

Where is her sister?

Oh she is there.

Right there.

At the bottom of the stairs

Watching her sister plummet to her death.

And cheering her on.

With five other kids

Ages 6-9

 

Did they come to her aide?

Try to stop her?

They did not.

 

We are done.

After that scare…

And and hour and a half of cold pony rides…

Just DONE!

 

The birthday mom?

I could tell…

She felt badly for me.

And said?

“I don’t know how you do it.”

 

Like that Sarah Jessica Parker movie.

But she?

Is rich.

Has a husband…

a secretary…

And a nanny.

 

I know!

How she does it.

 

The birthday Mom…

Sent me on my way.

With a kiss to the top of my head.

Because that is all she could do.

That?

And thank God she was not me.

 

She did offer me a beer for the road.

Which I thought about…

But declined.

As I drove home amid the screams,

Created by our departure,

I plotted

The bloody mary

I would be drinking…

make that gulping.

In 13 minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on January 3, 2012 in Misbehaving

 

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