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The Conservation

09 Jan

“Mommy?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you know that movie?”

 

?

 

“The one we watched?”

 

More data needed….

 

“There was a girl…

You know her?”

 

I?

Do not.

 

“What color was her hair?”

 

“Um…

yellow…

and brown…

Some red…

and maybe black”

 

Helpful?

Not so much.

 

“Mommy?

She walked a very long way

And she had some friends…

Some were animals Mommy”

 

Okay…

Still nothing.

 

“honey…

do you mean Dora?”

 

 

“Mom!!

 

No…

 

how can you be so…

 

Pizbalini?”

 

Piz-ba-what?

Another one of her made up words.

 

“There was a mean lady…

She had a chi-o-meter”

“And the mean lady…

was going to kills her

When the chi-o-meter was done.”

 

What the hell is a chi-o-meter?

 

“STOOPID!”

Tennyson has to interject.

 

“that’s enough out of her missy…

Landon I have no idea what you are talking about”

 

“MOM!

we watched it on TV”

 

“honey…

You have 47 movies.”

 

“And the mean lady…

She could fly.”

 

We are 11 minutes in to this conversation.

No fewer than 7 of her movies involve fairies or angels…

And all?

Can fly.

 

What in the hell is the movie???

 

“Honey… seriously… I have no idea.”

 

“Mommy…OOOOHHHH!”

 

“STOO…PID

POOPEYHEAD

POOPEYHEAD

POOPEYHEAD

STOOPID…POOPEYHEAD.”

 

“Tenny…

enough of that…

We don’t said stupid..

Or that other one.”

 

“Mom…

You KNOW dis movie

Dere was a horse…

So pretty…

All dese different colors”

 

“Like My Little Pony?”

 

“OH MY GOSH Mom…

You be so…

AOOOH!

I am sooo…

You jis make me so crazies”

 

Honestly at my job…

people think I am kind of smart…

you know.

 

“Landon…

I am pretty sharp…

But I have no clue as to what you are asking me.

Do you have a noun…

perhaps a proper noun…

Of any sort?”

 

“Okay…

So Mom…

Dis girl…

She…

Has a dog

In a basket”

 

Ah ha.

 

:”And dat mean lady…

She was green.

And she had dese monkeys…

And dey can fly”

The Wizard of the Oz!

 

“Honey…

Do you mean The Wizard of Oz?”

 

“Yea…

Dats it

Dat is what I said”

 

Is so is not what she said.

 

“Oh…

Did you like that movie?”

 

“No…

I jis asking…

You know…

Jis making conservation”

 

Twelve and a half minutes of “conservation”

And she doesn’t even like the movie.

 

Nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on January 9, 2012 in Communicating with Children

 

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