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Incentivize me!

11 Jan

#2 is potty training.

OMG

I forgot the fun.

I will ask her flat out like forty times

And as soon as you start to potty train…

they like go more.

What up w/ dat?

 

“Tenny do you have to pee”

“Tenny?”

“Pee?”

“You need to go to the potty Tenny?”

And finally she will sit on the potty.

Not quietly.

Oh hell no.

Fiddling w/her socks.

Spinning the toilet paper in a heap on the floor.

Eating the cracker she had hidden in her hand.

Tap tap tap of the foot.

I sit across from her

All supportive

 “You can do it

I know you can

You are such a big girl”

Etc.

 

Nothing.

Nada

Zip

Zilch

“okay we’ll try again in a few minutes”

And then

 90 seconds later?

 “Mommy?

I wet.”

 WHAT?

How is that possible?

It is like she is screwing w/ me.

Then those those thick panties you have to buy.

What fun are they!

When she poops in them.

Have Mercy!

A big poop blob.

And you?

As the loving mother?

Have to scrape it off in the toilet…

Wash them out in the sink…

And sanitize them in a 2 hour wash.

 G L A M O R O U S

Of course there are the “accoutrements

  • Waterproof mattress pad
  • Princesses Wash Their Hands book
  • Toddler potty
  • I can go Potty DVD

I am implementing something I call the?

Toddler Incentive Plan

It involves?

BRIBERY

I use these little candies.

And right now?

They are 90% off at Target.

All Christmas candy…

accessories…

and cat toys.

(just saying)

On the way to school,

I tape it to the dash…

Where she can see it.

And I promise the nougaty candy when the teacher says she pee’d in the potty.

So maybe it will work.

Because yesterday?

I picked up a bag full of three pair of soaked panties

Associated plastic pants

Pants/Tights

And socks.

How the pee gets to the socks I don’t know

But it do.

And so I rode home…

w/ the Christmas nougat taped to the dash…

and one screaming toddler…

mad as hell,

that Mommy

“be so mean”

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Posted by on January 11, 2012 in Parenthood, Parenting, Potty

 

Tags: , , , , ,

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