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7A

05 Feb

I took a business trip recently.

It was divine.

And by divine?

I mean there were no children.

 

I was in the bulkhead…

Which means a little extra space.

For me…

Just me.

 

I close my eyes…

It is calm…

Even with the strangers passing by….

And the periodic bump of an errant bag or briefcase.

I start to doze.

I am so happy.

 

“Excuse me”

“EXCUSE ME”

“EXCUSE ME”

 

She cannot be talking to me.

CANNOT

CAN

NOT

BE

TALKING

TO

ME!

 

I am asleep.

I crack an eye…

And glance to my left.

 

“does your bunion bother you?”

 

WHAT?

WTF!

Swear!

Swear to God

She?

Said that to me.

A Total Stranger.

STRANGER!

While I was freakin’

A S L E E P

 

How could she disturb me?... look how pretty I am.

 

I am astounded

I cannot speak.

So she?

Does.

 “You know…

I had that surgery…

It took me 6 months to stand on my tip toes…

I had it on on December 29th

And I don’t even remember New Year’s.

Mine was so painful…

I had to have my husband…”

Blah Blah Blah

 

What!?

 

I do not care about her foot issues.

But I am considering a request to move to 1st class…

on the grounds of harrassment.

 

And why?

is she looking at my feet.

 

Yes…

I do have a bunion

And it is not tiny…

But I mean you can’t..like… park a truck on it.

And folks!

My shoes were on.

I wasn’t dangling my feet in the aisle

like a redneck.

You could not see any of my foot imperfections…

Unless you?

Are a foot freak.

 

Whatever!

Crazy Lady

With INAPPROPRIATE boundaries.

 

And then?

I order a wine.

I hardly open my eyes.

 

But when I finally do…

Foot Fetish in 7A?

Is cutting me a look.

A look of condemnation.

Judging me for a little slice of bliss…

 

So I?

Slurped it.

LOUD.

LOUDLY.

 

Causing a quick head snap in my direction.

It?

Was funny.

So much so I laughed out loud.

While I thought to myself…

She?

Should get a magazine.

Or check out 8C…

I think that chick.

Has a bunion

Corns

And a  hammer toe.

 

I wish you non-intrusive travels!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 Comments

Posted by on February 5, 2012 in Travel

 

Tags: , , , ,

3 responses to “7A

  1. thegracefuldivorce

    February 6, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Ha ha! Better you than me. I too look forward to sleeping as soon as I board a plane, so intruders always get ignored!

     
  2. shannon

    February 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Baaaahahahaha…. you crack me up. Thanks for the great chuckle while I painfully listen to my team go through their cadence call. Oh… and remind me to tell you how I almost got LC back as a client…

     
  3. asoley

    March 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Very funny! Oh the comments, it’s like you’d had a 3rd eye….

     

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