Monthly Archives: April 2012


We went to see my sister and her family recently.

En route ….

we stayed at a hotel.

My girls?

loved the bed the most.

Do you blame them?


Their cousins…

have a trampoline.

a HUGE trampoline.


it is fun….

really fun.

Like I am going to pee right here…

I am laughing so hard..



I want one.

Something about jumping up and down…

with your hair blowing in the breeze…

and tiny boobies barely moving…

just takes away the stress.


You feel like a kid again…

Like you are light

and airy…

and like you really don’t have 6 hours of work ahead of you.


My older niece is 13.

My children think she hung the moon.


is certain that she did.


My niece and I am bouncing together.

Trying to see who can bounce the other higher.

She won.

And then stated.

“Aunt Kelly….

you are not bouncing me as high as I am bouncing you…

Is that because…

you are a vegetarian?”






because everyone knows that a good rib-eye gives you more bounce-ability!

















1 Comment

Posted by on April 25, 2012 in Misbehaving, Painting, Parenthood, Teenagers


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The Royal Toilet


Is the newest addition to our house.

It is an effort.


Act of desperation.

To get Tennyson potty trained.


She is close.

And most of the time will hit the target.

But there are times,


She does not.

Maybe she just cannot make the extra 6 steps to the potty…

Or ?



Is mad at Mommy for not giving her more candy

And she makes a mistake.

And it?

Always happens when we are walking out the door…

And late.

So I bought this.

A sure fire remedy…

The commissioned salesperson told me…

At the store.

When you sit on it.

And pee.

It says





plays a royal tune:




Has been a magnet to small children.

Tennyson now?

Drinks water so she will have to pee.


I am so happy




Landon has taken to using it too.


Looks ridiculous

as you will see.

Its 7:20 a.m. here in this picture.

But from the looks of her…

You would think I drug her out of a bar at last call.



I cannot tell you how proud I am of myself for this purchase.


I drift off to dreamland

Knowing I have won this one.

And then?





Followed by





I investigate.

The cats are in the bathroom on the floor

Playing with a toy mouse.

together in a joint cat rolling ball.

And the vibration of one 8 pound cat …

And one HOSS cat of 18 pounds…

flopping around on the floor

Has caused the royal toilet to?

Flip freakin’ out.








Its in a damn loop!


I can’t take it.

The royal toilet is now upside down.

And the batteries are somewhere,

on the next block over.


I chucked em.

And I?

Have once again lost the battle with a toddler.


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The Trip to Guilty

I wonder.

Is it just me?

Because I am single.

And there is only one parent…

One me.

Is that the reason I am…

Utterly worn out.







A boss once told me …

The guilt never goes away.

He meant with his kids.

And I didn’t get it then.

I do…



I feel guilty as a single mom…

That I don’t have enough time to play with my girls,

Really enjoy them.



That I yelled at Landon…

When she didn’t clean up her barbies.

Or Tenny

When she poops in her big girl panties.

While standing IN THE BATHROOM.



That I can’t spend as much time teaching Landon to ride her bike.

Because there is only one of me

And I need to be…

Catching her sister,

as she runs to towards the busy street.


I feel bad


Tennyson doesn’t get as much one on one time with me,

Like Landon did.

Because she came second.


I feel guilty that?

Last night’s vegetable…

Was a can of black beans.

a choice I later regretted

when Landon ate 3/4 of the can….

By herself…

If you catch my drift

Pun intended



I have guilt that I forgot Tennyson’s snow boots

And she couldn’t play outside with her friends

Last week.


I feel guilty that I have to work so much lately

And that it is taking time from my kids.


I hate that I am so excited about this new job…

And am enjoying it.



I am guilty of reaching for the short books before bedtime.

Or skipping a sentence,

or two,

to expedite the process….

Okay sometimes even a paragraph.

And am grateful the girls cannot read yet.




I feel terrible that I cannot wait to go for sushi Friday night with my friend.

When I should really be here watching Bubble Guppies with the girls.


I wonder if it is just me?

Is it?

Is IT??

Who feels all this guilt?

Is it just part of parenting?

Is there an herb…

Or cocktail…

to make it all go away?


And then…

Tenny says…

“I misses you Mommy”

as I walk down the hall.


And Landon as she is headed to dreamland…



“Yes ma’am?”

I squeak out

Barely audible

Because I am just too tired

To utter more than a whisper.


“you are…

Da best mama”



So maybe?

I am not doing such a bad job.

After all.














Posted by on April 5, 2012 in Uncategorized


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