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The Royal Toilet

16 Apr

This?


Is the newest addition to our house.

It is an effort.

Plea.

Act of desperation.

To get Tennyson potty trained.

 

She is close.

And most of the time will hit the target.

But there are times,

When?

She does not.

Maybe she just cannot make the extra 6 steps to the potty…

Or ?

She?

 

Is mad at Mommy for not giving her more candy

And she makes a mistake.

And it?

Always happens when we are walking out the door…

And late.

So I bought this.

A sure fire remedy…

The commissioned salesperson told me…

At the store.

When you sit on it.

And pee.

It says

“YEAH!!”

or

“Yippee!”

or

plays a royal tune:

“DA DA DUM!”

 

This?

Has been a magnet to small children.

Tennyson now?

Drinks water so she will have to pee.

 

I am so happy

SO

Happy.

 

Landon has taken to using it too.

Which?

Looks ridiculous

as you will see.


Its 7:20 a.m. here in this picture.

But from the looks of her…

You would think I drug her out of a bar at last call.

 

So…

I cannot tell you how proud I am of myself for this purchase.

 

I drift off to dreamland

Knowing I have won this one.

And then?

 

“YEAH!”

What?

 

Followed by

“YEAH!”

“YIPPEE!

 

Hmmmm

I investigate.

The cats are in the bathroom on the floor

Playing with a toy mouse.

together in a joint cat rolling ball.

And the vibration of one 8 pound cat …

And one HOSS cat of 18 pounds…

flopping around on the floor

Has caused the royal toilet to?

Flip freakin’ out.

“Yeah!”

“DA DA DUM”

“DA DA DUM”

“DA DA DUM”

“DA DA DUM”

“DA DA DUM”

 

Its in a damn loop!

OMG!

I can’t take it.

The royal toilet is now upside down.

And the batteries are somewhere,

on the next block over.

Because?

I chucked em.

And I?

Have once again lost the battle with a toddler.

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