Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Home Depot





“Me and Tenny has been talking.”



And what did you decide?”



We thinks you should get a Daddy

Then you wouldn’t have so much Mommin’ to do.”



Well where do you think I could get one…

a Daddy?”

“Me and Tenny thinks you can get one …

At the Home Depot…

There are lots of daddies in dere.”


Well!  Screw the rake and hoe…

I’m off to Home Depot…

to get me a husband.


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Posted by on September 17, 2012 in Uncategorized



The mornings…

with 2 girls

2 schools

endless drama

Are nothing short of madness.




I have found the solution

The Mommy savior.

It is?

the crustable.


It is…


The crustable…

may be the single best invention for motherhood…

since Scotch.


I find they are just a tad better when heated.

Just a bit more gooey


Tuesday morning I toasted them

for my girls.


I am a giver.



I toasted a tad too much.


Were like bricks.


I didn’t not realize the cooking faux pas


we were en route


la escuela


I heard Tennyson crunching,

wondering if she had sneaked in some potato chips.


Then Landon’s yelp in pain,

from the impact to her teeth.




How hard is it to defrost 2 crustables?


I am beating myself up

Feeling like a really shitty mother.

And famished,

as I tear my own personal Luna bar in half…

for the girls to share


And then chuck the crustable brick out the window.

Thinking a hungry squirrel could probably drill down in to it.

Only to hit a poor bird and I think?

Render him unconscious.















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Posted by on September 15, 2012 in Food, Misbehaving, Parenthood, Parenting