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Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Home Depot

“Mommy?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Me and Tenny has been talking.”

 

“Really?

And what did you decide?”

 

“Well.

We thinks you should get a Daddy

Then you wouldn’t have so much Mommin’ to do.”

 

“Oh…

Well where do you think I could get one…

a Daddy?”

“Me and Tenny thinks you can get one …

At the Home Depot…

There are lots of daddies in dere.”

 

Well!  Screw the rake and hoe…

I’m off to Home Depot…

to get me a husband.

(Edit)

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Posted by on September 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Crustable!

The mornings…

with 2 girls

2 schools

endless drama

Are nothing short of madness.

But.

BUTT!

 

I have found the solution

The Mommy savior.

It is?

the crustable.

 

It is…

genius.

The crustable…

may be the single best invention for motherhood…

since Scotch.

 

I find they are just a tad better when heated.

Just a bit more gooey

Well…

Tuesday morning I toasted them

for my girls.

Because?

I am a giver.

 

But!

I toasted a tad too much.

They?

Were like bricks.

 

I didn’t not realize the cooking faux pas

Until!

we were en route

To?

la escuela

 

I heard Tennyson crunching,

wondering if she had sneaked in some potato chips.

 

Then Landon’s yelp in pain,

from the impact to her teeth.

 

Omg

 

How hard is it to defrost 2 crustables?

 

I am beating myself up

Feeling like a really shitty mother.

And famished,

as I tear my own personal Luna bar in half…

for the girls to share

 

And then chuck the crustable brick out the window.

Thinking a hungry squirrel could probably drill down in to it.

Only to hit a poor bird and I think?

Render him unconscious.

 

Unbelievable!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 15, 2012 in Food, Misbehaving, Parenthood, Parenting