Monthly Archives: February 2013

Thank you!

This is a repost… sort of … I posted something similar last year on Landon’s birthday.


Today is my daughter’s Birthday.

Tennyson is 4.

We did it,

we made it to 4.

Tennyson is:







As it is her birthday, I have much to do:

Find presents


Wrap presents

Pick the perfect pink frosting:

Pink blush

Baby pink

Fuschia tint

Pink swirl

Peachy pink



When I asked Tenny what she wanted for her birthday,

she said “Mommy’s chapstick”

Oh hell no..

not my Fresh Sugar Balm.

Get some today!

Get some today!


If you haven’t tried it…



It is great.

Plum is my favorite — just a hint of color.

Honey — more pigment.

White one is the perfect lip treatment.

But at 22.00 a pop…


is getting blistex.


I am thankful I am done






But mostly today…

I remember and am thankful for my beautiful girl.


I think about the woman who changed my life.


The woman who gave me my greatest gift.

She gave birth to my daughter.

I think of her often…

But especially today.

I wonder where she is…

and how she is doing.

I pray for her.

That she has comfort.


That somehow…

On the other side of the world…

She will know.

That our girl is okay.

Better than ok…

Perfect really.

That she is safe.

That she is loved truly and beyond any expectations she could have had.

And that she did the best she could.

I celebrate my daughter today.


And for a little while.


I pause…


I hold this woman in my heart…


And I say thank you.

Tenny-lou... I love you.

Tenny-lou… I love you.


Posted by on February 20, 2013 in Adoption, Birth Mother, Parenthood, Parenting


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My mother,

The laundress,

you may recall

Visited recently.


Mothers can say things…

Only a mother can

Such as…

“well honey when you fix your hair, we can go”

“um… Mom… it is fixed”

“Oh… I see”

Read as…

“how do you expect to find a man when you look like shit”




During Mom’s visit,

We went shopping,

For bras.

We went a lot of places…






Is large busted.

An issue I do not have.


After 2 ½ hours

And no water…

or nourishment…

I was being to hallucinate

Something about George Clooney and chocolate sauce…

I can’t say any more.


I had to address the situation.

“Mom, is there seriously not one bra in Bali,

(all 24,000 square feet),

that will make the girls happy?”



I have miffed my mama.


“Well Kelly…

You are so small,

you can really buy your bras anywhere.”

(she stopped short of saying at the Children’s Place…

But she was headed there).



You know I just got measured at Nordstrom’s



They measured me two ENTIRE sizes bigger than what I thought.

I am am now a 3_X size.”

(Feel the actual size is too much to share but…

lets just say when you go from the size of an M&M to a Milk Dud…

It is not a major developmental accomplishment.)


I am proud,

Proud of my growing boobalas.


But Mom…

Being my Mom.

Squashed my new found confidence, with a large mallet.

The great Whac-A-Mole.


Her face


In disbelief…

and search


“Well honey…

Where are THEY?”


As if… they were hiding.


Ego fully in check now,



Posted by on February 10, 2013 in Parenthood, Parenting, Shopping


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Still Recovering…

How were your holidays?

Yes I know it has been a month.

But I still occasionally get asked that.

What do I say?

Am I honest?


As a single mother

I suffer from guilt



I suck…


That I am not doing it right

or enough…

just something.


I don’ think I am alone.



When I got the question…

and people say “It must have been great with two little ones”…

Am I honest?

If I were…

I would say…

I am glad it is over.

And I love me some Christmas.


It wore my ass out.


And this is why.

I hung the lights.

Inside and out

I fell off the ladder


I schlepped the Christmas tree in

I did ALL the Santa.

For all the kids

For all the family

For all 14 teachers, cooks and principals



And they? Were beautiful

I love to wrap

Big bows

Pretty paper

Fancy penmanship

I managed to get the girls to a XMAS eve party

And church

Only 2 minutes late

I put out all the XMAS stuff

And nearly severed my right thumb on industrial strength plastic

Containing Barbie and a wardrobe of tiny pink pumps

Which we promptly lost 3 minutes after opening

I set out HOMEMADE (read from scratch) Christmas cookies

And carrots for the reindeer.

And I took the fake bite to show Santa was really there.

I made not one but TWO casseroles for Christmas breakfast.



And when it was done.

With a whew!

And a deep breath

I surveyed the carnage –

Shredded paper

Lost instructions

Missing batteries


Only to see Landon crying

“honey… what IS it?”


“I wanted Santa to get me an IPAD”

What the hell.

Is she serious?

Both children

Sit as queens

Of their respective toy mountains.


I tried to explain

That if anyone was getting a new fancy ipad it would be me.

And that the real joy of the holidays is…

The special time with family.

Which she bought for…

not one minute


Disturbed and frankly pissed,

I turn,


and walk away.

Only to step on

The McDonald’s cash register

Made and sold only by Target

And now I know why …


I go spinning out of control

Holding Tennyson

And take the full force of the fall

And both of our weight

With my left elbow

On the hard wood floor.



And I?

Cried a little

It was blindingly painful

And I as I got my keys

Headed to the doc in the box

To make sure I didn’t have a fracture,

I vowed to myself

That next year

I would enjoy Christmas

Hire myself a housekeeper

Find myself a gay husband

and enjoy the holiday ho ho…

like Carol Brady did.

see... she is just starting to figure out Mike is gay here.

see… she is just starting to figure out Mike is gay here.














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Posted by on February 6, 2013 in Christmas, Misbehaving


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