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Whac-A-Mole

10 Feb

My mother,

The laundress,

you may recall

Visited recently.

 

Mothers can say things…

Only a mother can

Such as…

“well honey when you fix your hair, we can go”

“um… Mom… it is fixed”

“Oh… I see”

Read as…

“how do you expect to find a man when you look like shit”

 

 

Well…

During Mom’s visit,

We went shopping,

For bras.

We went a lot of places…

Macy’s

Soma

Bali

 

Mom?

Is large busted.

An issue I do not have.

 

After 2 ½ hours

And no water…

or nourishment…

I was being to hallucinate

Something about George Clooney and chocolate sauce…

I can’t say any more.

 

I had to address the situation.

“Mom, is there seriously not one bra in Bali,

(all 24,000 square feet),

that will make the girls happy?”

 

OMG …

I have miffed my mama.

old-lady

“Well Kelly…

You are so small,

you can really buy your bras anywhere.”

(she stopped short of saying at the Children’s Place…

But she was headed there).

 

“Mom…

You know I just got measured at Nordstrom’s

AND

Soma…

They measured me two ENTIRE sizes bigger than what I thought.

I am am now a 3_X size.”

(Feel the actual size is too much to share but…

lets just say when you go from the size of an M&M to a Milk Dud…

It is not a major developmental accomplishment.)

 

I am proud,

Proud of my growing boobalas.

 

But Mom…

Being my Mom.

Squashed my new found confidence, with a large mallet.

The great Whac-A-Mole.

 

Her face

Crinkled

In disbelief…

and search

Said.

“Well honey…

Where are THEY?”

 

As if… they were hiding.

 

Ego fully in check now,

 

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4 Comments

Posted by on February 10, 2013 in Parenthood, Parenting, Shopping

 

Tags: , , , ,

4 responses to “Whac-A-Mole

  1. candidkay

    February 10, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Howling:) Thanks for the laugh!

     
    • judy ray aka Kelly's mom and Ju Ju grandmother to these special little girls.

      February 10, 2013 at 6:54 pm

      Well Kelly, I am just thrilled to be so special. The girls are quite the starlet and I do so appreciate the attention they are being given. What can I say US SOUTHERN GIRLS ROCK The South shall rise again, (just like my boobs) Just so all of you know, that picture is just not me and was taken when I was a bit younger. Eat your heart out ladies!!!

      Your loving mother aka Grandma Ju Ju

       
  2. Danielle Hampton

    February 10, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    Love it! I can sympathize…still M&M status myself…

     
  3. Tina Hudnell Armstrong

    February 20, 2013 at 10:33 am

    That is too funny.. thanks for the giggle!

     

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