Fun in the Friendly Skies

04 May

I haven’t written in a while…

I know.

We have just been so busy and have had a lot of travel.  I have, in short, been wiped out.

We took a trip

(the whole fan-dam-ily)

to Hot-lanta.

Direct flight…

not so bad.

But once again,

our seats are not together.

I mean we are on the same flight…

but barely.


I don’t get this thing…

where they don’t put families together.

Then you get to negotiate with the other passengers,

4 and 6 year old in tow.

“Excuse Mr. Executive…

Do you want to exchange your nice aisle seat with my middle seat?”


Does not.


When we finally do get in our one row…

the girls are already asking “are we there yet?”

We are in 9A, B, and C…

do they think this is time travel?

Is It Okay to Drug Kids for Airplane Rides?  – Hell yes!


And the 4 year old is so annoyed at her captivity,

She lobs a swift and angry kick to 8B in front of her…

8B hurls forward,

leaving a burgundy kiss on the back of 7B.


Of course we are S T A R V I N G.

The girls cannot wait until the lady walks by with the cart.

You would think Mickey Mouse was about to pop out.


There are so few options for food on planes now.

So we get a snack box.



What kind of sadist puts nutella and hummus in an airplane snack box.

Why don’t you just scream “squirt your sister”

because that is where this is going.

We put it on everything

crackers, fingers, Mom


painted the tray table.



And of course I happened to pick the same week for my trip as the NCAA tournament.

Hotels a scarcity.

I did manage to find one,

after a lengthy search,

and got a great deal

But, when I went to check in,

they informed me that because it was the NCAA tournament,

they would have to charge me 3 x the quoted rate.


An argument ensued.

I won.

And was pissed for the balance of the day.


I am aware that this NCAA thing…

is BIG DO’ins…

But really?

All those screaming drunks…

When I am trying to work

and corral children.


Me at the NCAA shindig,

was just such a waste.

Like sending Honey Boo Boo to the Opera.

Noodle on that one.


And because of this massive event,

the only rooms available had a single bed

ONE bed.

Assembling the girls in line formation,

to illustrate this conundrum.





For leverage…

and a second bed.



You have not lived until:

you get an elbow to groin


you have been peed on at 3 a.m.


So that is our fun.

I’ll be better this week.

Have missed writing

and sleeping




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