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Monthly Archives: October 2013

What did she just say?

There are times,

as a parent,

when your children,

do something

say something

so funny…

You have to stop.

Stop cooking dinner,

Stop shopping folding clothes,

Stop fussing because you just stepped…

on the third lite brite peg,

in one hour

(MOTHER OF GOD that hurts)

 

I will share a few of our recent ones:

 

Tennyson has been sick…

running a fever,

overall punk.

Shuffling in…

damp from sweat,

she proclaims:

“MOM!… my fever just cracked.”

 

It is Tennyson’s bath time…

I walk in behind her…

to ensure?

she does not use all 12 ounces,

of Johnson’s Baby shampoo,

tonight.

She turns to me and says:

“Mom…

I needs a private seat.”

(a.k.a. privacy).

 

Landon is looking through my Nordstom catalog.

My NIRVANA

Lingerie section…

“Mom?”

“yes honey?”

“Here are some nice boob holders for you.”

 

BLAT!

SPIT!

OMG!

 

 

 

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Posted by on October 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Wake Up Call

Saturday 6: 09 a.m.

 

Swish

Swish

Waddle

Waddle

Plop

Pee

AH!

 

Tennyson is up,

Making her quiet trek to the potty.

Landon:

“TENNYSON DON’T FLUSH THE POTTY… YOU WILL WAKE MOM”

 

Really?

 

“LAN’ON…I NEEDS A FLUSH IT…

I WENT POOOOOP…

DAT GROSS.

MOMMY!

LAN’ON WON’T LET ME FLUSH DA POTTY….

SHE TINKS I AM GOING TO WAKE YOU UP.”

 

Really?

 

“TENNYSON I TELLED YOU

NOT TO WAKE MOMMY UP…

WHY YOU HAS TO DO THAT?”

Ghost of Christmas Future

Ghost of Christmas Future

 

“LAN’ON I NEEDS TO FLUSH.

MOM!!

I NEEDS A FLUSH DA POTTY”

 

“TENNYSON STOP

YOU ARE GONNA WAKE UP MOM.”

 

She?

Is?

GOING

To

Wake

Me

Up…

As in future tense…

 

Landon:

“Mom…

Are you awake?”

 

Oh hell no –just  enjoying a quiet slumber here.

 

PEOPLE!

IT IS 6 a.m.

ON  SATURDAY.

 

I get

Totally get

Why they wrote that book.

Go The F*ck to Sleep

 

 

DAMNIT

 

I expect a sequel.

“Mommy?

Is

in

a

F*cking

institution.”

 

Argh!

 

 

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