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The Test Drive

23 Feb

The weekends are hard sometimes.

During the week,

There is the distraction of

School

Work

Routine

 

Weekends,

While somewhat scheduled,

Are a bit more random.

 

This weekend, I took the girls to look at cars.

I just feel like I need a bigger car.

Let me tell you the Lexus dealership…

Will

NEVER

be the same.

 

I wanted to test drive something,

With the girls .

The true test of…

Function and durability.

 

Marshall is assigned to us.

Lovely man

Handsome

And sharp dressed.

 

Has three sisters

A wife

Two daughters

And grandchildren

He?

Is used to the drama.

 

Marshall is explaining about the V8 capabilities

“You can off road…”

Like that is going to happen…

 

“Marshall…

There are a few things that are critical”

 

“Oh…Okay”

 

“Cupholders”

 

“You?

Are concerned about the cupholders?”

 

“Well I need to check how many there are,

And their durability.”

 

He?

Thinks I am crazy.

 

“Well what are you going to put in them?”

 

“Marshall, it is not what we are going to put in them.

It is what we are going to do to them.

We are going to shove Barbie’s in them

Slam them in hard

Smack our iPad’s  on them.

And probably use them to hold indelible markers.” 

 

Marshall?

is frightened.

 

“And Marshall?

I need to be able to get 3 booster seats across the back seat”

 

“I thought you have 2 kids”

 

“I do” 

“Are you going to have more?”

 

“God no!”

 

“sometimes we have to take other kids with us…

For playdates and the like.”

 Tennyson:  “Except for Sarah… she says bad words.”

 

“oh okay”

 

Time for the test drive.

I have three car seats with me.

 3721347968_1df660036d

I sit in the third one …

Just to see if it works.

At 5’3” I am a tight squeeze ,

but am in.

 

Confirming that will work,

I proceed to test drive the vehicle.

 

Landon has gotten in my purse.

“Mommy what is this?”

 

“Hair spray…

NO! No! Don’t spray that in this  new car”

 

Marshall, while a black man…

Now has white knuckles.

 

“Mom!

Mom!”

 

“What?”

 

“Give this to Mr. Marshall”

 

It?

Is a note.

“I think you are cute.”

Tee hee

Giggle

Giggle

Snort

Chortle

 

More paper

Frantic writing

 

“MOM!”

“what is it?

You are going to make me wreck this car.”

 

Marshall?

Now is draining of all color.

 

Another note…

“I love you…

And I still think you are cute.”

 

Really?

 

“Mom!”

WHAT DO YOU NEED NOW?

WHAT DO YOU NEED NOW?

“OH! MY! GOD!

what is it?”

 

“I LOVE this car….

We has gots to have it.”

 

I proceed to tell her that she sucks at negotiation.

 

Tennyson is WAY too quiet.

Still worried about her sister’s flirtations,

I check in with Tenny.

 

“Tennyson …

What are you doing back there?”

Nothing.

 

“Tenny?”

 

“TENNY? Can you say something?”

 

“Okay…

Stinky butt”

 

Nice.

Classy.

That’s us.

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Posted by on February 23, 2014 in Misbehaving, Painting, Parenthood

 

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